I’m Not Crazy; I’m a Christian
Kat Merrigan
Service With A Smile: Legend Or History?
Editor’s note: Let me state up front I have great respect for those in customer service. I learned at an early age I wasn’t cut out for such work. I don’t have the grace and patience. This article is in no way meant to disparage those who put forth a solid effort and care. I also know there are some horrific customers with unrealistic expectations and demands. I considered all of this as I drafted this blog post.
This is the tale of two different customer service worlds.
In the first one, you call the 1-800 number because you’ve exhausted all your brain cells trying to fix the problem or error yourself. After bypassing the automated call center (no easy task), you are warmly greeted by a gentle voice who introduces themselves, verifies you are who you claim to be and says, “How may I help you today?” You begin to tell your sad story, your body still tense from the stress of the equipment malfunction or billing question, your head nursing a persistent throbbing pain above your right eye. The representative listens attentively and waits for you to finish before asking a series of questions which surprisingly relate to your exact problem. You consider your answers thoughtfully while a tiny flicker of hope begins to grow inside you. Before long you and your rep are troubleshooting together and working as a team to solve the issue. Hope is now ablaze in your heart. You can feel the tension in your body begin to dissipate. You even have the strength to find a little humor in the situation. You both share a laugh. You leave the call, hopefully, with a resolution you are comfortable with, but even if you aren’t, you still appreciate the efforts of this brave rep. You thank them and wish them well.
I want to live in that world. Don’t you?
But sadly, there is another customer service realm. This dark, desolate land is littered with the corpses of broken dreams and shattered expectations. You don’t know you’ve entered this world until it is too late and there’s no way to turn back. This place lulls you into a false sense of security as you dial the number, bypass the automated call center, and are greeted by a representative. This rep may even exchange benign pleasantries and appear to be ready to help you.
Don’t be fooled. You are not in the first world.
As you muster the courage to tell your tale of woe, you can sense a distracted attitude, but you continue. Nearly breathless from the telling, you anxiously await their reply. Surely, they’ll give you some direction, offer some solution that doesn’t involve you doing all the legwork and bearing all the burden. Of course, it will all be covered as your product was purchased mere weeks earlier and still falls under the warranty. Assuredly, they’ll agree those overage charges can be removed as you’ve been a loyal customer for decades. As they speak you feel your mind scrambling to understand. But they said they understood and apologized for the inconvenience. Why is their option to fix the problem I didn’t cause more work and more inconvenience for me?! What is going on? Perhaps this is their first day. Maybe they haven’t encountered a problem like mine. You feel your blood pressure rising, but you try to maintain composure. Maybe they don’t realize how this option is utterly ridiculous. If I say it back to them, and they hear how crazy it sounds out loud, they’ll make it right. So, you say it back to them.
To your surprise, they don’t agree it’s a fool’s errand and there must be a better solution. In fact, they fall back to the script and repeat their horrendous option while feigning sympathy for your plight. Your blood pressure near tilting range, you raise your voice and restate your objections fighting every impulse to slip into excessive expletive use. But you don’t want to be unkind to them. On some level you feel for them. Though you are far from a difficult customer, you’re sure they have more than their fair share of abuse to deal with on a regular basis. You don’t want to add to the negativity.
Your words pour out in a mix of frustration and restrained anger. You finish and there’s no response. Then a minute or so later, the rep is back on the line. Did they just mute me? I’ve done business with them for ten years, and this is the thanks I get? Where is the consideration? Where is the support?
Now you’re faced with a difficult choice: escalate with the rep (which will get you absolutely nowhere) or ask to speak with a manager (which will probably also get you absolutely nowhere). You resign yourself to your fate. You drop your metaphorical sword and cave to the hellacious and erroneously named option. You hang up the phone feeling rejected, disappointed and in desperate need of a nap. You’d like to think you gained some wisdom from the encounter, but you didn’t. On the contrary, at one point you could actually feel your brain getting number and dumber.
In today’s world, is good quality customer service no longer possible?
As I stated in my Editor’s Note, I respect those in the field. It can’t be easy spending your entire shift hearing complaints and dealing with unhappy people. I would imagine the salary is far from commensurate with the daily dose of aggravation.
Though I wasn’t a customer service rep, several of my careers involved managing client issues, even in healthcare. There were many times I was working diligently to help one of my patients in their recovery. But that didn’t stop an unsatisfied family member from accosting me with a litany of complaints. Most of the time, I understood. Their concerns were typically out of my purview, but I was the one who answered the phone or was the therapist. I was the first warm body who’d given them the time of day in a long while. They weren’t letting me get away that easily, so I did my best to listen and respond respectfully.
Did I miss the mark many times? Absolutely. Did I take their tone as an attack against me personally? Sure did sometimes. Did I often opine that I wasn’t getting paid enough to deal with all the drama? You betcha.
I’m not immune to acknowledging the fact that the conversation (on phone or in person) is two-way. Having said that, both parties should make their best effort to keep the dialog civil, but I believe the onus is more on the rep than the customer to set and maintain the tone. Placing the call on mute or hold may be an option. Just make sure the customer doesn’t figure out what you’re doing. Nobody wants to be ignored or dismissed, least of all when they’re already feeling ignored and dismissed.
Sometimes it feels as if no one wants to go the extra mile or even the regular mile.
I hate when I start to wax on about “the good old days” because: it makes me sound old, and they probably weren’t as good as my nostalgic memories portray them. But I will say I’ve noticed a trend for some time of people just not making the effort anymore. And I don’t mean going above and beyond the job, I mean literally doing the basic requirements of the job!
For some, they have a pervasive sense of entitlement. They genuinely believe because they showed up, they’ve earned the day’s pay. This is incorrect.
You know I brought receipts. (Any and all Bible verses, unless otherwise indicated, are from biblegateway.com, NIV, emphasis added.)
Now to the one who works, wages are not credited as a gift but as an obligation. (Romans 4:4)
For Scripture says, “Do not muzzle an ox while it is treading out the grain,” and “The worker deserves his wages.” (1 Timothy 5:18)
The crucial element to keep in mind with these verses is it is the worker who deserves and should expect their wages. It is not the person who shows up to work. Walking through the door counts toward attendance not performance.
I understand feeling why should you bother when others come in and don’t work nearly as hard and are getting paid the same (or better) than you. It’s incredibly demotivating. The temptation is great to just coast along and do the barest of bare minimums. I have certainly given in to that impulse at times. I just couldn’t sustain that level of inactivity. I’d get bored and the day would drag on if I didn’t keep moving. Despite my best attempts, I’d eventually revert to my normal pace.
I was raised to work. I believe there’s dignity in working. I’m not suggesting you make your job the cornerstone of your life or identity. But a sense of accomplishment at the end of each day does help build you up. Sure, some days you’re just thankful you survived in one piece, but still.
My parents demonstrated a strong work ethic, whether in the home (Mom) or at the office (Dad). As a writer it is more difficult to keep a structured, disciplined work schedule than when I was in the business or healthcare fields. But I’m trying.
There is also value and purpose in serving others, but don’t take my word for it. Check this out:
Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.” (Mark 9:35)
I believe this verse speaks to the concept of servant leadership. The principle is if you expect to lead, you must be willing to humble yourself and serve others. I would argue it includes the concept of not asking someone who works for you to do something you aren’t willing and prepared to do. Now, if you don’t possess the skillset to perform a function, that’s a different story. I offer it refers to menial tasks. Don’t ever consider yourself above them or they’re beneath you.
As a Christian, Jesus is the example, the role model for how to conduct ourselves in all areas of life. Jesus was a servant. Check this out:
“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45)
If the Son of God could humble Himself and serve others, how much more should that be our posture?
Is service with a smile a legend or history?
A legend implies it’s somewhat rooted in historical facts but has been embellished over time. History suggests it happened in the past. It’s not occurring now. I believe there are a few shining lights out there who still care. I’ve met some of them. They’re wonderful. On a daily basis, they make the world a little less awful for those they help. They even inspire me to not give in to my more cynical nature of feeling anxious over every interaction with a twist in my belly and a sense of foreboding and dread in my heart.
So, I end by saying service with a smile is neither a legend nor history. But I caution we are at a crossroads. If we’re not careful, there is a real risk of snuffing out the spark that still resides in some representatives. May all of us, regardless of which side of the dialog we’re on, conduct ourselves with respect, humility, and kindness. And perhaps one day we can share the legend of the dark world of customer service with those who never had to trudge through its muck and mire.
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.
Look forward to hearing from you.
-Kat
Happiness And Joy: One And The Same?
Let me begin by sharing what prompted my selection of topic this week. It all started with watching a short video. A young gentleman performed a skit where his friend (also played by him) came in and was complaining how bad things are and how everyone just wants to be happy. He countered by stating this quest for happiness was the problem. He then broke down how happiness and joy are not the same. It got me wondering.
Why do we pursue happiness yet find joy?
When I think of pursuing something, I think of an elaborate chase scene in a movie (of course I do). It’s like a fugitive on the run and I’m in hot pursuit. It may be slick and put on various disguises to avoid detection. It may try to blend into a crowd, so I can’t locate it. It’s elusive. In short, I’m working very hard and it’s basically leading or calling all the shots. I’m not really in control, am I? Sure, I’m tracking it and trying to predict its next move, but ultimately, the best I can hope for is that it makes a mistake I can use to my advantage. Bottom line: it sounds like a lot of effort on my part with no guaranteed upside. I may never catch it in the end.
Let’s contrast that with finding something. Is there any greater feeling than when we find something we lost? My body relaxes, my mind stops racing, I can breathe again. The panic subsides. The frantic searching, the retracing steps, the looking through the same drawer ten times is now over. I can dry my eyes (because I’ve usually had a complete, hysterical meltdown) and carry on. And whatever value I once placed upon the lost item has now multiplied exponentially.
Happiness is often circumstantial which means it can be fleeting.
Some may argue you can create your own happiness. You don’t need anyone or anything else. Can you though? Are you able to just wake up and determine to be happy? You can certainly try, I suppose. I’ve aspired to such a feat, and even attempted it a time or two. I did fantastic until I got out of bed and my feet hit the floor.
Happiness is a feeling.
Perhaps that’s its biggest shortcoming. Emotions are a tricky business. How we feel about anything can be subject to change depending on events, people, hormones (ladies, you know what I’m talking about). Happiness, like any emotion, can be transient and difficult to hold onto or maintain.
Isn’t joy a feeling too?
I don’t believe it is. It’s often used interchangeably with happiness, but that doesn’t necessarily make it true. I believe joy is something deeper and greater than feeling happy. I also believe there’s a joy once found which can never be taken away.
I wanted your input for this piece, so I reached out on social media and posed the question: do the two words mean the same thing? I was so grateful for those who took time to respond. I read through each comment, and it was fascinating. Some folks felt the two were related. Others didn’t. Some tied faith into their definitions.
As a Christian, my faith infuses every aspect of my life. I try to adhere to what I learn from studying the scriptures. Some may call it a crutch. My respectful reply would be if you knew the best chef in the world put out a cookbook, wouldn’t you follow the recipes? Sure, your dish may not come out exactly the same as theirs, but you’ve got a much better chance of success than if you tried to guess all the ingredients, measurements, prep and cooking times on your own. Just saying.
You know I brought recipes…I mean receipts. (Any and all Bible verses, unless otherwise indicated are from biblegateway.com, NIV, emphasis added.)
You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. (Psalm 16:11)
This verse describes where joy is found: in God’s presence. What does that mean? I’m so glad you asked. Many think you must be in church or some other formal religious environment to encounter His presence. I respectfully disagree. God’s presence can be anywhere, because He’s God and omnipresent. The real question is how do we tap into it? It’s not hard at all. I’ve been in His presence in my bedroom, on a nature walk, in a friend’s living room, in my car, and even in a church. The physical location is basically irrelevant. God meets us wherever we are. What I love about joy is I wasn’t looking for it when I found it in Him. I just wanted to get to know the God who created me and His Son who died for me. Joy just showed up as I spent time with Him.
I found joy when I wasn’t even looking for it.
From personal experience, I will tell you there is nothing greater than the joy felt in His presence. I don’t know if there are words to describe it. It’s beyond any emotional or physical high. It’s more than feeling happy. It’s a state of perfect peace, tranquility, gratitude, pure love. It’s amazing. I highly recommend you try it.
Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10)
Can joy be strength? According to this verse, it absolutely can. How can that be? I’m so very glad you always ask such excellent questions. Here’s what I know from my own life. When you know whose you are, you can handle more than you thought you ever could. It’s difficult to articulate, but it just reframes your whole view on everything. When you know God loves you and Jesus sacrificed Himself for you, and you truly believe it, you walk differently. You’re so grateful and want to show your appreciation. You want to spend time in His presence which then fills you with joy. That infilling gives you a boldness, a strength, a security. It doesn’t mean you won’t face challenges or difficulties though. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Check this out:
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. (James 1:2-3)
Say what now?
I’m supposed to call it all joy when I’ve lost my job and my bills are past due? Yes. But surely it can’t be joy when my child is rebelling, or my marriage is struggling? That too.
I know how crazy it sounds. The first time I read this verse I didn’t know what to make of it. Surely, there must have been a typo, or somebody took the dictation down incorrectly. Nope. Now if I’m being honest, I can safely say sometimes I wish the faith testing part was over. Can I just get my diploma and graduate? Haven’t I learned enough lessons? Nope.
As I stated earlier, it’s about reframing everything through the lens of knowing the Lord loves you and made you on purpose for a purpose. He allows certain situations to occur, some painful and some downright awful, because He sees beyond that moment. He’s all-seeing and all-knowing. It doesn’t make the event hurt less, but it gives us a place to go, a place to cry out, and a place for our faith to increase. The beautiful part is as our faith grows certain trials don’t hit the same way anymore. Once I learned how God provides for my health and finances (which is a whole topic for a piece someday soon), I developed a confidence in those areas. Doesn’t mean I still don’t get a little nervous when I don’t know how He’s going to come through. But now I know He will come through. There’s great comfort and strength in that knowledge.
Right now, you may be thinking this whole joy thing is pretty interesting, how do I find it? Well, we’ve already seen it comes from God and being in His presence. But did you know it’s also a product of the Holy Spirit? Check this out:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23)
Can I just state I’d be eating that fruit all day every day, and I don’t really like fruit! It gives me some gastrointestinal issues. But I digress. I included this verse because I wanted you to see how much we all need the Holy Spirit. We can love Jesus and fear God, but the Holy Spirit is His very essence. I’ve said before it’s our superpower. When we say Christ lives on the inside of us, it’s His Spirit we’re talking about. When we ask Him into our hearts and lives, (because He’s a gentleman and would never force Himself on us) it’s an absolute game changer. Again, I speak from personal experience. I loved God and believed in Jesus, but when I was filled with the Holy Spirit, it went beyond next level.
He gives you insight, wisdom, discernment. He’s better than a conscience. And did you see the fruit you get to enjoy?! I mean, come on, who’s not in for some: love, joy, peace, forbearance (patience), goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? Sign me up!
Does this mean I’m frolicking all day with those fruits just spilling out of me? Absolutely not. Are there still many areas I’m weak in and need more of His help? Certainly. What it means is all these attributes, these wonderful characteristics are available to us. It will always be our decision whether we partake or not. Free will never goes away. We always have a choice.
As I close, here’s what I see is the biggest difference between happiness and joy. Happiness can come and go. Joy once given to you by God is always yours to access. Circumstances may change, people may hurt or disappoint you, but you will always have what is sometimes referred to as joy unspeakable. It’s a joy no one can ever really take away. It’s an inner spark, if you will, an eternal flame. It can’t be put out by human hands because it wasn’t put there by them. And when you feel your light starting to dim, you just have to enter His presence once more to stoke the fire He put inside of you. It’s a fire of joy, of strength, of power. And it will definitely make you feel happy. But when the feeling fades, His joy continues to burn inside you carrying you through every good and terrible season.
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know. May you have a Holy Spirit invasion and get your fruits in today!
Look forward to hearing from you.
-Kat
Oh Me! Oh My! What To Do About A.I.
Artificial Intelligence or A.I. is a fairly hot topic lately. And who doesn’t like seeing a video with Arnold Schwarzenegger playing Little Orphan Annie singing “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow” to Joe Rogan as Daddy Warbucks? (And, yes, that is a real thing. Saw it this morning on social media as I was prepping for this piece.)
But I’m old enough to remember movies such as the Terminator and Matrix series, and I, Robot where artificial intelligence turns on humanity with devastating results. Shoot, I grew up with Matthew Broderick and Ally Sheedy’s War Games. (Spoiler alert: never choose Global Thermonuclear War as your game selection.)
There have been great technological advances and achievements in every age. But to suggest that each progressive movement didn’t come with a downside, or some negative consequence is a bit naïve. As we moved into the Industrial Age, for example, people were displaced from their jobs. The same thing was true when automation took over manufacturing production lines.
Every innovation may bring a level of degradation or even devastation.
Does that seem too harsh? Think of factory-based towns where machines replace the workers. Consider artists who always created in certain mediums now competing with computer-generated and 3D printed imagery. What about when photography and motion pictures moved from film to digital? Or how about when music went from records then tapes then CDs and now exists primarily in the digital space?
Some careers just don’t survive the transitions. And some experiences will never be known by the next generation. I give you the following as an example: browsing through a record store, exploring each album cover and appreciating all the artwork, creative choices, lyrics, pictures, etc. Contrast that with downloading a song through an app.
Video killed the radio star.
That’s an early 80s reference I challenge you to research on your own. I lived through it, not only the song it came from but the world-changing time period when MTV was born. I was a teenager and music videos were everything! Sure, in the early days it was the same small catalog of mostly British and European bands I didn’t know very well, and the quality of the production left much to be desired, but it was new, and I was in for all of it.
Within a short period of time, almost every band or artist jumped on the trend. Now you didn’t have to wait for your favorite group or singer to appear on some show. They were in rotation 24 hours a day! Soon you had groundbreaking artists who pushed the boundaries and turned 3-5-minute videos into epic events. (Michael Jackson being one of the most prolific of the time.) It was “must see TV”. And we did. A lot.
These days MTV rarely plays music videos at all. Times changed once again. With the proliferation of cell phones and advent of social media, many users won’t stop to watch anything if it runs more than 90 seconds, let alone 3-5 minutes! It’s all about quick hits, short clips and soundbites. Is that healthy? How are our attention spans being affected? Negative consequences.
Now, let’s get back to A.I. and why I’m more than a little concerned about the direction we’re going down.
Technology is a tool. It’s neither good nor bad.
I used to agree with this sentiment. The same technology in different hands can bring about very diverse outcomes. Someone developing programs and robotics to assist in cancer detection or to help those with critical injuries should be applauded. Someone employing programs and devices to spy on or steal from private citizens should not.
Is there potential bias in A.I.?
It appears that way. (As one example: at the time of this writing a certain high-profile chat bot would supply you with jokes about Jesus if you asked it, but it wouldn’t if you asked about a certain other religious figure. Seems a little suspect to me.)
When the leaders behind A.I. suggest a pause, is it time to panic?
Elon Musk and other prominent voices in the space have suggested pausing the push forward with this technology. This seems a bit troubling, doesn’t it? And it sounds like all the warnings ignored by others in the movies right before the machines become sentient, take over and blow everything to smithereens!
These thought leaders and researchers claim they need time to get their hands around it. What now? So, what I’m hearing is those who pushed the little snowball down the snowy mountain are shocked that it picked up speed and grew larger as it rolled. And now that ball is huge and about to crush the village in the valley below. Good job, everyone!
See the thing about A.I. is it learns as it goes. Let me write that again: it learns as it goes. It has a powerful appetite and is a sponge. Its ability to absorb information and generate content based on any subject within a few seconds or minutes is already astounding and getting faster.
Will you be able to believe your own senses soon?
Well, right now I know Arnold wasn’t Orphan Annie, but what’s coming in a few months or years? Will we all be susceptible to deep fakes where someone using technology with the wrong intent will generate something so realistic that we’re all duped? Suppose that content is enough to create panic or motivate people to do something terrible as a reaction.
Along similar lines, what’s the likelihood of fraud and cyberattacks increasing? I’m a resident expert on absolutely nothing, but my educated guess would be leaning toward more likely rather than less.
What if A.I. decides we’re expendable?
That could never happen, right? After the last three years, I’ve learned to never say never. But I don’t want to leave you guys in a panic. As I’ve mentioned before, you can’t surprise God. Nothing has ever happened, does happen or will happen without His awareness. Because He’s the Alpha and Omega (beginning and the end), He already warned us of times ahead.
You know I brought receipts. (Any and all Bible verses, unless otherwise indicated, are from biblegateway.com, NIV, emphasis added.)
At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, (Matthew 24:10-12)
So, whether it’s A.I. becoming self-aware or other manipulative techniques, the Lord is warning us of a time when people will turn from faith, betray and hate each other. During this same period, false prophets will pop up everywhere to mislead many. (Thank goodness, none of that is happening, am I right? Wink. Wink. Nudge. Nudge.)
How can we avoid being deceived?
One of the many, many things I love about the Bible is God doesn’t just warn us of problems, He presents the solutions. Check this out:
See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ. (Colossians 2:8)
What I read in this verse is if it doesn’t align with the Bible and Christ, run from it. (Think about this: down the road there’s a chance A.I. may become ambitious or bored and decide to create a new Bible. Will it be the best deep fake of all time? Who wants to wait around to find out? My strong suggestion: if you don’t have a Bible now, don’t hesitate! Get one!)
Now this next verse is both a warning and a comfort. Check this out:
In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evildoers and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.
Again, whether A.I. or other force is the catalyst, as a believer we are targeted. But God! If we remain in His word and in our faith in Christ Jesus, we will overcome.
As I close, my best advice is if you don’t have a Bible, get your hands on one asap. Don’t rely on an app alone. If you have one and haven’t read it in a while, dust it off and start reading. I suggest the New Testament first starting with: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
If you don’t know or believe in Jesus, today is a perfect day to get to know Him. He loves you. He died and rose again for you. He’s with you. And He is most definitely not artificial in His intelligence, love or any other aspect. He’s the Son of the Creator of the universe. Invite Him into your life today and ask His Holy Spirit to come upon you, so you can spot the deep fakes in your world from miles away.
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.
Look forward to hearing from you, and I’m not a robot!
-Kat
The Great Divide
United we stand, divided we fall.
I did an online search for the origin of this famous phrase. Some say it dates back to the Greek storyteller Aesop, known for Aesop’s Fables. It gained notoriety during the American Revolution where it was included as part of The Liberty Song by John Dickinson in 1768. We’ve also probably all heard the phrase: “there’s safety in numbers”. And Benjamin Franklin is famously quoted as saying, “We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately.”
Warning: If you found the first paragraph offensive, this is probably not going to be an article you’ll enjoy reading. I suggest you stop here. Continue at your own risk.
Unity isn’t a new topic. I imagine the desire to live peacefully and get along with those around us, whether at work, school, or home, in our communities, towns, states, even the country and the world is shared by most of us.
If that is true, it begs the question:
Why can’t we get along with one another?
Here’s where I may earn my Kat Controversy label, but I firmly believe powerful entities are on a mission to divide and conquer. Divide and conquer? Yes, keep us divided and battling with each other, while they gain more power and control right under our noses Keep us hypervigilant and focused on our differences so we can never find things in common, never understand one another, never unite. Does that sound like a conspiracy theory? What the last few years have clearly demonstrated is sometimes those theories are simply truths proven with time and exposure.
Let me state openly, I don’t want to believe there are some people who want to see this world end, or at the very least, no longer resemble the version we’ve known and enjoyed. I don’t want to believe an elitist minority wants to reinstate medieval feudal and caste systems where those who aren’t in their inner circle are treated as second class.
But just because we don’t want something to be true, doesn’t mean it isn’t actually true.
You know I brought receipts. (Any and all bible verses, unless otherwise indicated, are from biblegateway.com, NIV, emphasis added.)
People use phrases such as: “it’s biblical” or “that’s bible” to justify many things or situations. Some may wrongly apply them. I’ll let you judge for yourself if what I’ve described above wasn’t literally prophesied through the scriptures.
But, dear friends, remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ foretold. They said to you, “In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.” These are the people who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit. (Jude 1:17-19)
So, in the latter days, or when this world is nearing its end (spoiler alert: it does have an end coming at some point which only the Lord knows), there will be those who turn away from the teachings of God and will follow their own selfish desires and divide us.
Well, that certainly isn’t happening, is it? None of us can point to a single issue where there isn’t an individual or group behind it driving a story not the story in order to advance an agenda, right? No media outlets are taking up the charge and reinforcing the approved narrative to keep stoking fires of division, separation, and now, sadly, even reinstating segregation in a new and still awful form.
If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. (Mark 3:25)
Anyone who has ever lived with family or shared a home with other people knows this verse is 100% accurate. I vividly remember living in an apartment at a friend’s house. As our relationship began to fall apart, it became increasingly uncomfortable and impossible to live there. I had to move out. The divided house couldn’t stand.
As a Christian, I sincerely believe the bible is the guidebook for life. I believe it contains the writings of those inspired by God to help us navigate this world. I also believe Jesus came to save us and he is the answer: the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
Yet this verse, in his own words, always gives me pause. Check this out.
“Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.” (Luke 12:51-53)
But Jesus is love? How can this be?
I’ve come to appreciate that not everyone is able to receive the Truth. In other cases, some may just take longer than others to get there. Everyone’s spiritual journey is personal. For me, this verse means there will be those who accept His love and gift of salvation, and there will be others who do not. I hope those who don’t accept Him right away will at some point. Yet I realize some may never choose to do so. Free will is a beautiful, terrible thing.
I believe this verse speaks to the struggle between those who believe and those who do not. For those who have submitted their lives to the Lord, we are called to deny our flesh, our selfish instincts and impulses, in deference to how God would have us live. We believe and have seen how His ways are ultimately better, even though we may not feel that way in a given moment. But for those who reject Him, they are led by the whims of personal desire. Yes, they may be very smart people. But natural ability, talent, brains, whatever, can only take you so far. And sometimes it can take you to places of compromise and regret.
These next verses speak to achieving peace and unity. See if you can recognize the common threads. Check this out:
I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought. (1 Corinthians 1:10)
Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. (1 Peter 3:8)
Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. (Romans 12:16)
What I glean here is three-fold: being like-minded, compassionate, and not prideful. Makes sense if you think about it. And I’m going to leave it there for you to think about.
So, is there hope for common ground in 2023?
I still believe there is if he is the foundation, the rock, the solid ground. Check this out:
For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, (Ephesians 2:14)
Earlier we read how Jesus said he’d bring division, yet here it says he is our peace. Can the two things be true? Yes. What I see in this verse is his love can tear down walls, barriers between people. I’ve seen and personally experienced how his love can soften hearts and change minds. I’ve also seen how his love can anger and frustrate those who aren’t ready or prepared to receive it.
I still believe his love is the solution and not the problem. I’ll leave you with this verse:
How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity! (Psalm 133:1)
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.
Look forward to hearing from you,
-Kat
Leave It All On The Field
If you’ve ever played a sport or been part of a team, you may have heard this phrase or a variation. It means to go out and give it your all. Do your very best. Try your hardest. Spare no effort.
But what happens when you give it your all and you don’t win.
How do we handle when we’ve done all the prep work and we’ve given it our best shot, and we lose? We don’t get the promotion or win the game. The goal we had our heart set on eludes us.
Now what?
In springtime I can often be found in the stands watching college baseball. I have a family member who plays. I recently mentioned to him that this week’s blog topic was inspired by watching him and his team over the past couple of months. When I brought up the part about how to handle a defeat or a loss, he was quick to note how you go back out the next day and do it again. Sounds like the phrase: “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”
I agree with the sentiment but if I’m being honest (and I try to be), it’s the application of it where I fall short. How about you?
How do you process a setback or an outright defeat?
My first instinct is usually to run for comfort food and wallow. I lick my wounds and commiserate with myself over my misfortune. I might harbor some envy for anyone who’s achieved what I didn’t. I might rail about how it’s not fair and I deserved to win. In short, I throw myself a good, old fashioned pity party.
All this serves to do is keep me stuck. If I’m spending time in resentment, regret, confusion, discouragement, I’m not moving forward. If I stay here too long, I’ll talk myself out of ever trying again. What’s the point? What’s the use?
When a team is on a winning streak, energy is up. It’s all about keeping the streak going. The team can go one of two ways: either get a little too cocky and start to slack off or dig even deeper because they realize the streak may end at any moment. In either case spirits are high, and it doesn’t take much to get and keep the team motivated.
But when a team is in a slump, when they haven’t won a game in a while, herein lies the challenge. With each loss, individual and team confidence can drop. In this situation there are two ways to go as well: believe they’ll never pull out of the slump and it’s over or dig deeper and realize it will end and today might be the day. It’s much harder to get excited and hyped when you’re feeling low and beaten.
You need to have something to give before you can leave it all on the field.
I believe it needs to be more than a desire to win or succeed. I’m not against those drives per se, but for me it’s always more about the why of the what. Why do you want to win or succeed? Is it just for yourself? Is it to prove you could do it? Is it to boast or brag? Is it for the temporary rush? Is there a financial gain to be made?
These are all reasons. But there is a greater calling which should infuse everything we do. You know I brought receipts. (Any and all bible verses, unless otherwise indicated, are from biblegateway.com, NIV, emphasis added.)
So, whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31)
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (Colossians 3:17)
As Christians we are called to do everything to glorify God. Does that include giving our all win or lose? Yup. Every single time? Yup yup.
A sluggard’s appetite is never filled, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied. (Proverbs 13:4)
This verse is pretty self-explanatory. Laziness won’t get you very far. Being diligent, prepared, doing the work matters. Consistency and steadfastness help position you for success.
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, (Colossians 3:23)
Imagine God as your boss or coach. Would we conduct ourselves differently if we were directly reporting to him at the end of each day? I certainly would. I’m learning to internalize my daily accountability to him. Before I lose my mind because things didn’t go the way I wanted, I try to slow down. (I don’t always get there, but we’re all works in progress.) As I realize more and more how my life is a representation of him to a lost world, I’m challenged to come up higher, to do better, to leave it all on the field.
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9)
Let’s not get this verse twisted. We don’t do good because we will reap the harvest. We do good because it’s right. When we give it our all, we may not win, but we have still done the right thing. In time, God is so faithful, He will bless us. But that shouldn’t be the reason we continue to try. If we’re motivated to do because of what we’ll get, we’re in the wrong mindset.
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. (Proverbs 16:3)
I’m closing with this verse because I believe it’s an important key to this whole topic. Before we prep, before we go out and give it our all, we need to commit whatever it is to God. If we’re on a team, we should commit our involvement with it to him first. If we’re going for career or personal advancement, we need to commit it to him first.
We can have dreams, aspirations, plans. He establishes. Commit to him and then go out and leave it all on the field.
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.
Look forward to hearing from you,
-Kat
The Company You Keep
You’re known by the company you keep.
You’re “guilty by association”.
We’ve probably heard or used these phrases or similar ones. It is true how we spend our time and who we spend it with has a direct impact on our lives.
Friendships usually begin with a common interest or other binding factor. We’re drawn to those we feel are like minded. I’ve even referred to some as kindred spirits. It’s comforting to find a connection with another person or group. Deep down we all want to belong. No one really wants to be alone all the time. Even those of us who are content with our solitude want the option to be social. We want to know there’s at least one person out there who cares for us.
Sometimes our family can be our closest friends. Other times, they may not be. In fact, we may long to have close friends to help us deal with our family struggles.
Friendships can help us build, keep us stuck, or even wreck us.
At different seasons of my life, I’ve been close with people who weren’t necessarily bad, but their influence in my life wasn’t the best for me. I was initially drawn to them because we had something in common. I felt so comfortable around them. The problem was that what we shared weren’t all healthy traits. If we discovered we both enjoyed cocktails a bit too much or going out and wasting money, sometimes that became our focus. If one of us was going through a difficult time, the other one might feed into the chaos, rather than trying to diffuse it. We weren’t bringing out the best in each other anymore.
Your close circle can make or break you.
I know that seems dramatic to write, but it is true. The more time you spend around someone, the more you tend to rub off on each other. Human nature being fallen as it is, if we’re not careful, we won’t bring out the best or elevate each other. What started as a promising relationship may just end up at the lowest common denominator. Neither one is better for it; one or both may actually be worse off than before.
If you have goals and aspirations, your circle should reflect it.
In some ways, the older you get, the easier it is to recognize when a relationship is coming to an end. By the same token, I also have close friends I’ve had in my life for decades.
Your friendships should not only reflect where you are in your life, but also where you want to be. This doesn’t mean if you want to pursue a certain career you can only be friends with someone who wants the same career. Of course not. But what it does mean is you need to connect with people who are motivated. You want to surround yourself with those who are working toward something. Whatever their something may be. You won’t get motivation hanging around lazy people.
If you’re looking to improve your finances, you may not want to be close with people who can’t control their spending. I’m not saying you can’t be friends with them, but you may need to limit your exposure to them to make sure the relationship doesn’t hold you back or keep you stuck where you don’t want to be.
Yes, we are all individuals and capable of free will. But we are not immune to influence.
You need to periodically take inventory of your close bonds with other people: be they family, friends, or friends who are like family. Are you better off being in those relationships? Are they balanced?
Sometimes we stay connected to people because we don’t know how to leave.
We’ve known them for so long, or they were so important to us during a difficult time in our lives, or any other reason. But assessing our connections to others is critical for growth and maturity. Learning when to stay or go, how much time to dedicate, knowing its value, these are all keys.
Friendship matters. I know this because the Lord took time to discuss it at length in the scriptures. You know I brought receipts. I’m going to share several verses here, but there are so many more. I encourage you to explore them all on your own. (Any and all bible verses, unless otherwise are indicated, are from biblegateway.com NIV, emphasis added.)
Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)
This verse may be where the expression being guilty by association originated. Even if you aren’t yet compromised in some area, if you spend time with others who are known to be, you’ll get the same reputation. You may not even deserve the label, but you’ll probably get it anyway.
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared. (Proverbs 22:24-25)
I can absolutely tell you from personal experience this is true. I tend to be loud and confrontational. (I know you’re shocked.) If I’m around someone who also tends to be that way, we may find ourselves in a bad situation. Without someone to bring down the temperature, it can get pretty ugly.
The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. (Proverbs 12:26)
When we’re younger, we can make friends easily. But with age should come wisdom and discernment. I now believe in being friendly with many but only friends with a few.
What are the qualities of a good friend?
I’m so glad you asked. Because God is all about balance, He doesn’t just tell us what to avoid. He gives direction on what to look for as well. And not just what to look for in others but what we should develop within ourselves. Check these verses out.
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17 NKJV)
Who are your people who’ve seen you at your worst and still stuck around? Who can you call when it all goes horribly wrong? Who is willing to stand by your side through it all? Are you willing to be there for another? Will you stand with someone when they need you?
Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice. (Proverbs 27:9)
Who can you lean on for wise counsel? Are you quick to listen and slow to speak when someone in your life needs a friend?
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)
This verse is speaking of Jesus. He is a friend like no other. If you’re reading this and wonder who cares about you, let me tell you HE DOES! He is my best friend. He can be yours too. He will never leave you or forsake you.
He is also the example of a true friend. Check this out.
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:12-13)
Will you accept His friendship today? Will you open your heart and let Him come into your life? It’s a decision I made over 25 years ago. I’ve never regretted it. It doesn’t mean my life hasn’t had struggles. But I know He’s with me. Even when everyone I love wasn’t there, He was.
My friends are wonderful. I am blessed. But we are all fallible. We will disappoint one another at some point. The only One who has never disappointed me is the Lord.
I look to how He treated His friends as my example. I fall short every day, but I keep trying. Because He is the constant in my close circle, I can do all things as He strengthens me. He can be all that and more for you too.
Check your circle. It’s not complete until He’s at the center of it.
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.
Look forward to hearing from you,
-Kat
Hierarchy vs Hypocrisy And How It Relates To Easter
I’ve wanted to do a post for some time regarding the distinctions between hierarchy and hypocrisy. As I was preparing to write on this subject, I realized it would be going up during Easter week. I hesitated for a moment. Should I switch to something more relevant to Jesus’s death and resurrection? I wondered.
As I was praying and contemplating my next step, it occurred to me how often the Bible calls people out for being hypocrites. (If you do a quick online search, you’ll find at least a dozen references, usually said by Jesus.) The more I thought about it, the more I came to realize the conversation of hierarchy vs hypocrisy and Jesus’s story are connected.
Before we proceed, we should first come to a consensus on our definitions of hierarchy and hypocrisy. Hierarchy can be a group of people in authority. It can also be used to describe the various levels or rankings of those within a group. Hypocrisy is essentially where you claim to believe in something and hold others accountable to that standard, yet you do not actually believe it and often don’t conform to the standard or edict you’ve imposed on others. It can also be a demonstration of fake piety or virtue.
Jesus called many religious leaders and people in authority hypocrites. (Don’t believe me? Great. Do an online search for yourself. Might I suggest starting with the gospel of Matthew, chapter 23?) Here’s a sample from it. Check this out. (Any and all Bible verses, unless otherwise indicated, are from biblegateway.com NIV, emphasis added.)
Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples: “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So, you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.” (Matthew 23:1-4)
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.” (Matthew 23:13-14)
Perhaps you’ve heard or even used the phrase, “Practice what you preach.” Spoiler alert: this is where it came from. (Sidebar: you’d be amazed how many common phrases and sayings have their origin or a root form from the Bible. Maybe there’s something to this Book after all?)
Is there a difference between hierarchy and hypocrisy?
I would say this about that: you don’t have to be in a hierarchy to be a hypocrite, but it sure helps. Let’s take the verses above as an example. Jesus had many disagreements with the religious leaders of his day. They had established an order in which they were at the top. As such they were responsible for educating and instructing the rest of the people. The problem was many let their God-given responsibility turn into a power trip. They became more and more disconnected with the very people who looked to them for help and guidance. They became an almost elitist class.
Once you separate yourself from your fellow man or woman, you are capable of doing almost anything.
Is that too bold or controversial to write? Perhaps, but is it wrong? If you begin the abhorrent process of othering a person or group, you’re well on your way to making terrible, hurtful decisions. If you see your fellow person as less than you, because they’re not: as smart as you, as wealthy as you, as whatever as you, that’s a huge red flag.
There but for the grace of God go any of us.
If you begin to believe your own hype, and not realize that there but for the grace of God go I, when you see another in a lesser state than you, watch out. If you use phrases such as, “I would never…”, be careful. I know whereof I speak. When I’ve thought myself better than someone else because of something they were doing, I learned painfully how quickly roles can reverse. A few years down the road and some poor decisions later, I was doing the very thing I’d said I’d never do and judged someone so harshly for doing.
No one is exempt.
It’s not hyperbole to state our world is in major trouble. If we step out of the divisiveness being crammed down our throats every minute, we may be able to see a bigger picture. Could it be there are those in a hierarchy, those with lots of money and power who truly believe they are better than the rest of us? Perhaps this small group of elitists have decided only they are capable of ruling and reigning. So, they keep us commoners busy with distractions and infighting as they slowly, then quickly, take over everything.
If hypocrisy is holding someone to a standard you don’t uphold yourself, are they not guilty of that times a billion? But they would never see themselves as hypocrites. Why? Because they believe in their hierarchy. They are at the top. We are at the bottom. There are two different worlds: the one they demand we exist within and the other one where they prosper and enjoy all the perks. These worlds are separate and distinct.
To say some may even harbor a God-like delusion is putting it mildly. They are so disconnected from reality, they have no fear one day the roles may reverse. They cannot imagine a situation where they won’t be in charge.
It’s safe to say many of the religious leaders of Jesus’s time had a similar comfortable outlook. They had little to no reason to believe there would ever be a challenge to their power structure. Sure, there were religious zealots and the occasional “false prophet” within their communities. Everyone was subject to powerful Roman authorities. It wasn’t an easy time for anyone. But many in the hierarchy were living far better than their countrymen. They had a firmly entrenched power and financial structure, and they were going to keep it at all costs.
Earning wealth is not a bad thing. Having a sense of entitlement is.
Those who earn their money through honest means are welcome to it. They earned it. But when a sense of entitlement, of believing because you’re so-and-so or you did such-and-such you deserve something is a problem. Your money, your degree, your whatever doesn’t make you better than someone else. Use what you’ve been given or earned wisely.
Jesus messed with the hierarchy.
You have this religious order governing the citizens. Now here comes this upstart carpenter’s son from Nazareth, a nobody, questioning and challenging their authority. At first, they figured he was just another false prophet. He’d create a little stir but soon enough his influence would wane. He’d be forgotten by the people before too long.
They were so very, very wrong.
Once they realized he was a bigger problem than they could have imagined, they were determined to get rid of him. He wasn’t afraid of them. He wasn’t intimidated by them. He saw them for who they really were: hypocrites.
Some religious leaders hated Jesus so much, they planned ways to have him killed.
For those of you who know the story, one of their plots actually came to fruition. Jesus was betrayed, arrested by the Romans, beaten to near death, and later crucified. The hierarchy must have rejoiced on that day. They put an end to this rabble rouser, this nothing. They were the ones who knew best, not this foolish man. Now things could get back to normal. The hierarchy could resume business as usual.
Except that isn’t exactly what happened now, is it?
Here we are thousands of years later, and the words of Jesus still resonate throughout the world despite the best efforts by some to stop it. Because though he willingly took up his cross and died for us, that was not the end of his story or ours.
Jesus rose from the dead on the third day and lives forevermore.
If you think about it, Jesus came from the highest hierarchy of all time. God the Father, His Son (Jesus), and the Holy Spirit. If there was ever anyone who could rightly claim to be better or above others, it was him! Yet, he came to us in a lowly state, born in a manger. He lived a simple, modest life. He didn’t die a man of wealth, yet he rose as the King of Kings.
He came to save us. The greatest hierarchy used their power to fix the breach of sin we caused ourselves. Jesus lived as one of us to better understand humanity from the inside. What elite mind is willing to humble themselves like he did? I daresay none.
This is why they may pretend to be gods, but they will never be like God.
I wish everyone who celebrates a very Happy Easter. If you don’t know the story of Jesus and his great love for humanity, I encourage you to read it today. His story is for everyone at every time. His story is for you.
He loves you. He died and rose again for you. He’s no hypocrite.
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.
Look forward to hearing from you,
-Kat
Trad Life Is For The Meek, Not The Weak
Disclaimer: This week’s topic might stir up some controversy. Stop now if you think reading a different perspective on an issue will negatively impact you. Thanks.
Being born in the late 60s, I had the unique distinction of being alive for three decades (60s, 70s, and 80s) by the time I was 12! My Dad told me this when I was young. I trusted him because he was a literal genius. I was not. I entered the workforce in the mid-late 80s and have been in it, for the most part, ever since. My point is, I’ve been around. I’ve seen some stuff.
I was a young girl during the feminist movement. I vaguely remember the topic being bandied about at family parties. However, I do have one vivid memory. My mom was a stay-at-home mom, and she was particularly offended and insulted that, in her view, they were discrediting her life choice. My mom completed high school and went to work full time. Once she and my dad were married and settling down, she chose to be a homemaker. She often remarked how that was all she ever wanted to be. She wanted to have a husband and raise a family. She lived her dream (though when the four of us were little, I’m sure it felt more like a sleep-deprived, nightmarish horror movie, but still).
My mom had three daughters. Each of us was raised to be strong, independent, and self-sufficient. Our dad set an example of a strong, supportive male figure. He was also a practical man. He never discouraged us from pursuing our dreams. He just wanted to know if we could make a viable living from them. If not, then he would gently recommend it be our hobby and we should have a safety net, a “real job”.
My mom wanted us to be successful too. Her definition included falling in love, getting married and settling down (hopefully giving her some grandkids). She couldn’t really relate to us being content in our singleness. She wanted us to have someone to “take care of” us. When marriages and divorces came our way, I’d remind her how she and dad were the exception and not really the rule for marital longevity. (She did get her grandkid wish fulfilled 6 times, however, as well as getting bonus great-grandkids.)
I wasn’t mad at either of them for their personal convictions. If I had ever found a love such as theirs, I assure you I would’ve been all in for the marriage and family package. My life went a different way. I wouldn’t define myself as a career woman (whatever that means). I’m fairly well educated and have pursued different professional paths over the years.
Working mostly in the business world for approximately 40 years, I’ve seen a lot. Did I experience misogyny? Yup. Were there inappropriate conversations held in my presence without my consent? You betcha. Did I see some men get promotions who didn’t deserve them, and a strong woman candidate was passed over? Oh, heck yeah!
But did I also see some women who weren’t qualified get positions simply for corporate to fill a quota or check off a box? Yes indeedy! When I was working for a woman, did I ever experience more competitiveness and hostility than the sisterhood we were supposed to be having as we fought in our male dominated world? More often than not.
For a long time, I bought into most of the feminist agenda. I believed we always had to work harder to be taken seriously. I believed there was a boys club: a secret, unspoken cabal where any man always had an advantage over me if the third person in the conversation or situation was also a man.
I remember when my sisters and I would share stories of our work experiences dealing with the patriarchy, my dad would always have a strange expression on his face. It wasn’t that he believed we were crazy. He just thought we were exaggerating. It couldn’t be that bad.
But these events were true though. The situations did happen. There were obstacles in our way. But it was the generalization and the constant filtering through a lens of “here we go again” that was the problem.
If we start filtering everything through one lens, some things may become distorted.
Herein lies the problem, I believe, in contemporary society.
If you’re looking to get offended, you won’t have to look far.
I’m not suggesting there aren’t situations of discrimination, unfair treatment, sexist behavior, or anything else inappropriate out there. There are. I’ve experienced many of them. What I’m saying is when we hold so strongly to a belief such as: “it’s a man’s world”, we’re going to view every interaction through that lens. An innocent comment with no malice or forethought behind it may be perceived as an attack. Anything going wrong on the job, we may attribute to the man’s world ideology and miss other important information. Perhaps Dave got promoted because he earned it?
There’s a fine line between being cautious and jaded.
If you’ve experienced unfortunate situations in the past, it’s hard not to believe everyone is like so-and-so, or everything will be like this-or-that. I completely understand. Though I’m not a fan of the term triggers, they do exist. Something is said or happens which brings us back to a difficult time or place. We immediately get defensive, protective, reactive to the current situation which may have no correlation to the past whatsoever.
It takes work not to let your past impact your present and future. It takes more than you. It takes help from the Lord. Only He truly knows the hearts and motives of others. We don’t even really understand ourselves sometimes (or is it just me?).
What I’ve seen happening within the last few years appears to be a targeted campaign against strong men in pretty much all arenas, and strong women who choose faith and family over career. This ideology seeks to demonize men with terms like toxic masculinity. Now, are there some male traits that if not balanced can be toxic? Sure. By the same token, we women need balance, or we can be toxic too.
There are a lot of ads, shows and movies where the male character is put in his place by the female. She runs the show. She’s the boss. He’s her sidekick, at best.
I thought the fight was for equal rights?
I’m not against having strong female characters. You already know my hero was Wonder Woman. She’s an amazon, people. You don’t get much stronger than that. But why must the strong women have to dominate? And why must the men either be toxic or weak?
What defines a strong woman?
These days many are hard pressed to even define what a woman is. (I’m not going there this time.) But as I’ve been having conversations with friends and doing some research on how men and women are different by design, I’ve come to appreciate the Proverbs 31 woman as a template.
What is the Proverbs 31 woman?
She is the “wife of noble character” described in Proverbs 31. (Interesting sidenote: this proverb was from a King Lemuel but was taught to him by his mother. Please do not get me started on how there aren’t any strong women in the Bible.)
I highly encourage you to read the entire proverb. I’m pulling quotes from it here, but it’s great to read it in its entirety. (Any and all Bible verses, unless otherwise specified, are from biblegateway.com, NIV, emphasis added.)
This wife of noble character is described as: worth far more than rubies and her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value (v. 11). She takes care of her family and those who work for her (v.15). She’s a successful entrepreneur and solid in business (v. 16-17, 18). She’s not weak (v. 17). She’s generous and cares for the poor (v. 20).
Here’s one of my favorite parts. Check this out:
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. (v. 25-27)
But my absolute favorite part is right here. Check this out:
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. (v. 30-31).
The Proverbs 31 woman seems to have it all.
She balances work and family. She fosters a loving home, supports her husband and is a source of wisdom and strength to those around her. She’s successful, creative, inventive (read the whole proverb for more details on how).
It would seem God’s way is the better way.
That shouldn’t come as any surprise to us. He is all-knowing and all.
The title of this piece is the trad life (traditional life) is for the meek, not for the weak. Let’s first understand the biblical definition of meek. It means gentle, tender, not prideful. It doesn’t mean pushover or timid. You can be strong and meek. I like to think of it as a quiet strength. My dad was a meek man, but never a weak man. I long to add more meekness to my character.
In 2023, wanting faith and family ahead of other pursuits is almost frowned upon. It’s seen as backward, old-fashioned, corny and antiquated. Women are encouraged to put aside everything to achieve and become the boss babe they were always meant to be. Well, unless I’m wrong, our Proverbs 31 woman is all that and more. She didn’t have to sacrifice love, faith, and family. It wasn’t this-or-that. In the Lord’s way, it’s this-AND-that.
I support any woman who wants to work and has a career or dream she wants to pursue. I support any woman whose dream is to have a family and raise them with her husband. I support any woman who wants to do both.
I don’t support any woman who looks down on another for choosing a different path from them. I don’t support any woman who’s building their kingdom (sorry, queendom) by stepping on and over others (men or women). I don’t support any woman who attacks another woman for choosing to have and raise a child.
I will leave you with this, if a more progressive approach was so wonderful, why are so many people very unhappy?
Everyone has free will. Choose wisely. And if you’re like me, it’s never too late to realize you may have been misled and are filtering all your experiences through a distorted lens. Let the Lord and His Word give you the right prescription to see clearly.
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.
Look forward to hearing from you,
-Kat
It’s A Long Run
Hey all! It’s Kat. Thanks for stopping by. Glad you’re here to celebrate my 50th blog post with me. I couldn’t have done it without you!
To see the full video, please check out my Rumble channels. Links are below. It’s all free and all for you.
Kat and Andee: https://rumble.com/v2e5x6u-its-a-long-run.html
Kat Controversy: https://rumble.com/v2e5xro-its-a-long-run.html
Until next time, stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.
-Kat
Blogs Still Aren’t Blah!
Hey all! It’s Kat. Thanks for stopping by. Still working on something very special for my 50th blog post. In the meantime, I made another compilation video of past articles.
To see the full video, please check out my Rumble channels. Links are below. It’s all free and all for you.
Kat and Andee: https://rumble.com/v2d3ts2-blogs-still-arent-blah.html
Kat Controversy: https://rumble.com/v2d3tvo-blogs-still-arent-blah.html
Until next time, stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.
-Kat
Recent Comments