I’m Not Crazy; I’m a Christian
Kat Merrigan
80s Flashback
I never wanted to sound like my parents. No kid ever wants to utter a phrase that begins with, “Back in my day” or “When I was your age”. I shuddered just now as I typed those words out. Yet I find myself saying things like that on an almost daily basis.
In fact, on a recent vacation visiting with family, one of the younger kids said they felt sorry for us. I snapped my head around and sharply replied, “Excuse me?” She then proceeded to say how boring our lives must have been when we were young. She believed there was nothing to do, except look at the dinosaurs. I glossed over her obvious joke about my age, and then reminded her how we had freedoms and fun she’ll never know.
We didn’t spend the bulk of our time basking in the glow of a screen or phone. Nope. On the weekends we were up and out early. At my house, we had chores on Saturday: spring and summer it was mowing the lawn, pulling weeds from the flower beds, and picking up dog poop; in the fall it was raking leaves and picking up dog poop; and in the winter it was shoveling snow and, you got it, picking up dog poop. (We had two dogs, so there was a lot of poop.)
Our rooms went through inspection on a weekly basis as well. General Dot (aka Mom) would come through to check that we had fresh sheets on the beds, and they were made. Hospital corners were a must. (If you don’t know what a hospital corner is, you may be too young to read this. Just kidding.) If your area didn’t pass muster, you had to do it again.
So, growing up in the 80s sounds horrible, like prison or boot camp.
Not exactly.
It was this weird dichotomy. On the one hand, our parents were on top of us, making sure our rooms were clean, we did our homework, brushed our teeth and bathed on a consistent basis. On the other hand, we could fly out of the house and be gone for hours without them knowing where we were or having any way to contact us.
We didn’t have cell phones or any trackers. We had neighbors.
If we were hanging out at a friend’s house in our neighborhood, we knew someone somewhere would rat us out if we got caught doing something we shouldn’t. For this reason, we either crossed a main road to the development behind us to smoke our cigarettes and trash talk, or we’d hang out at our friends’ houses who lived the next town over and whose parents either worked all day or weren’t around much.
The only downside to hanging with friends outside of the neighborhood was the dreaded drive back home. My mom never got her driver’s license. So, when it came to carpools, it was all the other moms and my dad. Guess who was usually tasked with driving a gang of teenagers home at night. Yup. Guess who had to sit up front next to my all-seeing and knowing father and pretend I hadn’t been doing anything he wouldn’t approve of for the past four to six hours. Good times.
But what did you do all day?
During the school year, it was pretty simple. Get up far earlier than we wanted to, grumble our way through breakfast with a mom who was a morning person. God bless her, Mom was up early and cheerful. Now, I have been up early, and I have been cheerful. But I’ve never been both at the same time! Get ready, get on the bus, and go to school. Now, here’s where kids today and us separate.
Back in my day, (good grief) I don’t remember having a backpack, just a broken back. There were no iPads or laptops. Sure, we had computers, but they were in a locked room, and no one was stealing those and getting away with it. Each one was about the size of a small car! Did I mention we also had typing class? For you younger readers, in typing class we worked on these old machines called typewriters. We’d insert a piece of typewriting paper into it, and-. I’m making myself feel older by the minute. If you really care to learn about it, you can do an online search. But just know this, typing 90 or more words a minute used to be a big deal.
So, as I mentioned, I don’t think I had a book bag or backpack. But I did have a ton of books. Schools issued these things called textbooks. They were like online searches but printed out. Most of them were older than us. On the first day of classes, we would bring them home and my dad would take them and put paper bag covers over each one. This meant he would take paper bags from the food store, cut and fold them to fit over the covers of each textbook. The idea was to protect these sacred relics. I must admit I had the cleanest book covers in school. Pops was a genius. Now, we have paper covers over each book obscuring the title or subject. How would we know which one was which, you may ask? Well, here’s where we got to be creative. We would draw on the paper covers! My oldest sister was a legit artist, so her books always looked like they belonged on display in a gallery. I was not blessed with her talent, so mine were typically the subject name, English for example, written in bubble or block letters and shaded to give it a 3d effect. It was sort of like graffiti artwork but for the academic sector.
The next morning you’d get on the bus hefting those weighted monstrosities along with your spiral notebooks, 5-subject please, and a Trapper Keeper™. No wonder so many of us were diagnosed with scoliosis during our annual nurse visit. My arms grew six inches and my back turned into a letter C by the time I was fourteen.
In theory, you would put your books in your locker and only grab the ones you needed for your next class. The problem was most of the time your locker was located nowhere near any of your classes for the entire day! So, rather than running back and forth between class periods (did I mention you only had about 5 minutes in between classes?), you’d grab whatever books you need for the first 4-6 classes. Let the bicep building and low back contortion commence!
The worst was when you had gym class earlier in the day. You’d get all sweaty and gross and no one used the showers after (did I mention the 5 minutes between classes?), so you’d be pretty ripe for the rest of your day. The only comfort was that everyone else was too, except somehow the popular girls always looked fresh and clean. Fresh and clean and mean. But that’s a story for another time.
You’re not really winning me over to how great being a kid in the 80s was.
OK, so school wasn’t the best (for most kids it never is). But we had the bus rides to and from to have fun. This was way before kids were chauffeured to school. You got your behind on the bus. Period. Your parents were paying taxes for those buses, so you were going to use them, even if the snowplows had come through and obliterated your bus stop. You’d either stand in the street and take your chances or ascend mount snowbank curb and take your chances. The only time Dad would drive us to school was if we had an early appointment or a project that would get demolished on the bus. Mom and Dad didn’t do our projects for us, but they helped. There was no way they were going to let their hard work and surviving my multiple meltdowns during the design and building process, go to waste. But we’d only get a ride to school. Once the project was seen and graded by the teacher, my folks couldn’t have cared less what happened to it. They just preferred we didn’t litter the street with its carcass.
We had one turn on our bus route that I labeled Dead Man’s Curve. We had a particular bus driver who was very nice, but I’m fairly certain had been or aspired to be a race car driver. He would take that turn on two wheels. (Yes, I realize a bus has more than two wheels. That’s my point.) I have fond memories of looking over at one of the girls on the bus as we’d near the turn. Will today be the day he tips the bus over onto its side? Nope. Whew. We live to see another bus ride.
Another interesting part of the transportation adventure was the after-school bus ride. I still have mild anxiety recalling how panicked I was figuring out which bus I should take. It wasn’t the same drivers or routes as during the regular day. Several times I walked onto the wrong bus. There were few things more embarrassing than having to turn tail and get off to try to find your bus. Were there adults there to help us? They were around but mostly to shout that the buses would be leaving soon, so stop goofing around. I always felt better when I had someone with me who was going my way. Even if we weren’t friends, for that moment, we were comrades in arms on the long journey home.
I lived at the front of my neighborhood. The buses would enter through the back. Here’s where it gets weird. Even though the bus would drive literally past my street to exit the neighborhood, it didn’t always stop at my corner. So, I’d be dropped off at the back end of a long street which crossed mine about a half mile further up. I’d watch as the bus sputtered and kicked out black smoke chugging merrily down the road and past my street! This extra cardio session was so much fun after a full day of classes, after school activities, and arms loaded with books and schoolwork. It was even more delightful on those cold fall and winter evenings when I was just praying I’d get home before the sun set.
I was fortunate to stumble through the door to the smell of something good being prepared in the kitchen. Mom made us home-cooked meals almost every night. At the time, we definitely grumbled about some of the dinner choices, to which Pops would casually remind us there was bologna in the refrigerator. There were no special meals for each family member. You ate what Mom made or you didn’t eat. You can’t imagine how much I’d give to have one more of her home-cooked dinners now.
I have great memories of being dropped off at the multiplex-a major deal in the 80s. For a long time, there were a couple of theaters that had two or four screens and might play a few different movies, but when the multiplex opened, it was an event! They had 10 screens! On a Friday or Saturday night, it’d be packed with teens and tweens who were dropped off in groups, some might say ravaging hoards. It was as if each parent’s vehicle was suddenly a clown car. How many kids just got out of that station wagon? (Yeah, we had those cars too.) We’d all pile out and the steps to the multiplex were electric with energy. Kids were hanging out everywhere. The neon lights from the theater’s sign were so bright, you could see them from the highway. It was the place to be if you were a teen in the 80s. You were either there, at the mall, or maybe at the ice- or roller-skating rink. I spent more time falling than skating, so I tended to choose the mall or the theater.
I saw some of the most iconic films at the multiplex, such as: Ghostbusters, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Purple Rain, Top Gun, Beverly Hills Cop, The Karate Kid, The Outsiders, War Games, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Pretty In Pink, Lethal Weapon, National Lampoon’s Vacation, and A Nightmare On Elm Street, to name a few. The best part was staying over one of my friend’s houses that night and reliving every moment from the movie we’d seen, memorizing every line, falling asleep laughing.
Summers were spent in each other’s pools. I remember my friend had cable before us, so we’d split our time between swimming and watching the same dozen European music videos in rotation on this phenomenon known as MTV Music Television. I don’t know if there’s been a cultural moment quite like the first time the channel went live. Here were bands you knew (and most you didn’t, in the beginning) lip synching to their music. Most of the videos were pretty crude and lacked a lot of artistic integrity, until Michael Jackson took over. I know I’ve written before how his Thriller video was must-see TV. It was a cultural high point. You had to be there.
And that’s probably the best way to describe growing up in the 80s: you had to be there. And I was. And it was totally tubular and totally awesome!
Until next time, stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know. And if you’re stressed out, just take a chill pill.
Look forward to hearing from you.
-Kat
Do We Need A Speakeasy To Speak Easy?
I was inspired to write this because I’m watching a country I love become less and less recognizable to me. I know that sounds dramatic, and perhaps it is. But what I’ve always loved about this country are the freedoms we have: speech, religion, the press, to name a few.
My parents were huge fans of history, so I was raised learning all about the founding fathers, the Declaration of Independence, and the Constitution. I was saddened to learn these documents aren’t even really taught in most schools anymore. How can this be? If we are to understand who we are as a nation, we need to go back to where it all began and those principles, ideals, and structural cornerstones. Without this knowledge, it’s like trying to build a skyscraper without any blueprints for reference.
The founding documents have been deemed problematic by some. Do I sit here and deify the men and women who forged this country? No, they were human, flawed. Was every decision they made perfect, honorable and righteous? Obviously not. I refer to them as ordinary people living in extraordinary times guided by their Creator.
We should look at what they did in the context of the times when they lived. Imagine what someone twenty years from now might think about beliefs and actions we currently hold as acceptable. Would they consider us foolish and scoff at us? It’s very easy to judge a historical situation through a contemporary lens. This is in no way excusing certain practices such as slavery and other atrocities committed here. But what I believe separates us from others is that, though we’ve yet to live up to the ideals and principles of moral character and righteous, fair treatment outlined in our founding papers, we strive to live up to them.
Now, if you’ve read those few paragraphs and disagree with me, that’s OK. In this country, you have the right to hold an opposing view from me. It is the great push-and-pull of free speech which helps us on our journey. If our beliefs are never challenged, and we are never called upon to defend them, how strong are they?
So, what does a speakeasy have to do with free speech?
As most of us know, speakeasy was a term made popular during the time of Prohibition (1920-1933). The 18th Amendment “made the manufacture, transportation, and sale of alcoholic beverages illegal in the U.S., but that didn’t stop people from having drinks.”1 Fun fact: I wasn’t aware that people could still drink whatever alcohol was in their homes, just not outside of it. The speakeasy was any venue (bar or nightclub, for example) that continued to secretly sell alcohol to the public in violation of the amendment. It’s thought the term may have come from patrons having to whisper or have a special passcode to gain entry to these establishments.
Bottom line: folks who wanted to enjoy cocktails outside the home had to do it discreetly. There could be real consequences if they were caught in a speakeasy. But within the walls of the building, they could partake freely. Now, regardless of how you feel about drinking alcohol, and there is certainly a case to made against it, the point I’m making is imagine being able to live a certain way for years, and then one day the government tells you what you’re doing is against the law and you can be jailed for it.
Now imagine you wake up one day and the government has decided you can’t say certain things, write or post certain content because it’s been deemed unacceptable. Labels like misinformation and disinformation are slapped on ideas, beliefs, theories, and questions that were once considered perfectly ordinary or normal.
There was a time when people were entitled to individual opinions and you, as an individual, were entitled to agree or disagree with them.
As a free-thinking individual, you could hear different viewpoints on any topic, at your discretion. If you chose to only hear what supported your opinion, that was your choice. But if you wanted to hear another perspective, you could access that material with relative ease.
The past few years highlighted how far removed we are from those days. Government and private entities solidified themselves as the arbiters of everything. They will be the ones to decide which information is fact and which is fiction. I won’t waste time going through the myriad of topics that were suppressed, vilified, mocked, and ridiculed because they differed from the predetermined suitable narrative. You probably know some of them, I’m sure. But the list is long and growing.
Limited access to information does not create an atmosphere for a healthy society.
There is a reason the Bill of Rights was articulated in our Constitution. The drafters of this new form of government, unprecedented in world history, were doing everything they could to ensure protection for the citizens from the government. They had fought a bitter war to divest themselves from the oppressive grip of a monarchy. They wanted to make certain government was kept harnessed and restrained. They knew all too well the consequences of unchecked power over a people.
So, do our rights come from God or government?
Here’s where knowing the Declaration of Independence comes in handy. It states,
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,2
Seems clear. Our rights come from the Lord not from the government or any person. It defines the role of government as securing our God-given rights. Government’s power only comes from us giving consent.
But it doesn’t feel that way very often lately.
Let’s go deeper into the concept of free speech. A term I hear often, but no one can seem to define accurately, is hate speech. They’ll give you examples of what they believe it is, but as I’m sure I’ve written before: speech you hate isn’t hate speech. Offensive speech is protected.
What? How can that be? It’s an awful thing being said or posted. It shouldn’t be allowed.
Speech that doesn’t offend or isn’t objectionable doesn’t need to be protected.
Think about it. If someone says, “Puppies are cute,” no one is going to really lose their minds (unless they prefer cats or maybe have a dog allergy). But if someone says, “Puppies shouldn’t exist,” some people might get very upset (me included). Yet if I believe free speech is absolute, (and I do), then I don’t have to agree with it, but I stand with them for the right to express it. Now, I can respond to their speech or protest or do whatever to demonstrate my firm disagreement. As horrible as I may believe it is, they still have a right to say it.
Who gets to decide what’s acceptable? And what if they decide what you want to say isn’t?
The puppy example is, obviously, rather benign. I didn’t want to start a firestorm by bringing up something more controversial. My point is this amendment exists for a reason. Here’s what it says:
“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”3
Other parts of the world can have you fined or jailed for what the government decides is hate speech. If someone posts something I find awful, such as, “There is no Jesus,” or mocking God, I don’t like it. But if I want them jailed for it, I set a scary precedent. What if the tables are turned on me? What if the government decides talking about Jesus or sharing my faith is dangerous? (But that could never happen here, right?)
Government partnering with private companies to censor and regulate speech online and elsewhere terrifies me. Social media platforms are doing what the government is not able to do. It’s a sneaky way around the Constitution. Scary. Once again, we’re relying on a select few to determine what is appropriate for us all. That runs in direct contrast to what we’re supposed to be about in this country.
Let’s remember our rights are God-given.
Does God have anything to say about our speech?
Oh, the number of scriptures dedicated to how we should speak and the power of the tongue. It’s like the Lord knows us so well or something. You know I brought receipts. (Any and all Bible verses, unless otherwise indicated, are from biblegateway.com, NIV, emphasis added.)
Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. (James 3:4-5)
In this passage, it likens the tongue to the rudder of a ship or a small spark of fire in a forest. Powerful. The rudder, though a small part, steers the whole ship. A little spark can spread and consume a whole forest. Our tongue, likewise, can either be creative or destructive.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29)
Clearly, God wants us to speak kindly to one another, to use our powers for good, if you will. But this can be challenging, particularly when we’re facing adversity. Here’s what I should pray more often:
Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. (Psalm 141:3)
Am I the only one who needs to keep my mouth in check? Keep in mind, I’m taking direction from God not government. I’m policing my own speech. It’s not being imposed upon me by some totalitarian authority. I’m not being bullied or threatened with expulsion for non-compliance. The Lord loves us in spite of us. We can’t win His love. It’s His gift to us. We’re neither forced nor coerced to work on any area of ourselves which could be improved. We choose.
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21)
Life and death in our words? I know I’ve written about this before. We remember the words that hurt us or shut us down, perhaps more so than those which built us up and encouraged us. We can crush or kill someone’s hopes or dreams with words. In contrast, we can bring life to those same hopes or dreams with words.
For, whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it. (1 Peter 3:10-11)
I put this verse last because it addresses the theme of this whole piece so well. Another term for deceitful speech is lying. If you ever read the Bible (and if you haven’t, please do so), God cannot stand lying. He knows we will make mistakes, bad decisions, etc. It’s when we lie to ourselves, others, and especially Him where things get more complicated and bad. First, lying to God is a colossal waste of time and energy because He’s got the whole all-knowing, all-seeing, all-powerful thing. You can’t lie to Him. It’s just insulting, honestly. Second, God doesn’t want us to trick or manipulate anyone. Last, He doesn’t want us to be dishonest with ourselves.
I was never the best at writing concluding paragraphs. (Some things never change.) To sum up, our rights were not, are not, and never will be from the government. They are given to us by God. As such, we are accountable to Him for all of it. In the Bible, He details how we should use our words: carefully, to edify, and never to lie. We have free will. This means we choose whether to heed His guidance or not.
His promises are true and reliable. They’re not based on some capricious whim or vain imagination. They stand the test of time, as do the divinely inspired principles and concepts in our founding documents. I pray we realize that soon and begin to turn back to the One who gave us our rights, and not rely on those who seek to take them away.
Until next time, stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know. Your rights are a gift from God.
Look forward to hearing from you.
-Kat
1 https://alcohol.org/statistics-information/speakeasy/
2 https://www.archives.gov/founding-docs/declaration-transcript
3 https://www.archives.gov/founding-docs/bill-of-rights-transcript
It’s A Shame There’s No Conviction
“You should be ashamed of yourself.”
“Aren’t you ashamed?”
“Shame. Shame. Everybody knows your name.”
These phrases were part of my childhood. I’m not looking for sympathy here; it’s just a fact. Usually, they were used by my parents in a joking manner. Occasionally, however, they were used as a genuine inquiry or correction, and not only by my parents.
Shame.
I’m not a fan of it. I’m also not a fan of its partner guilt. Are you familiar with their work? You do or say something you shouldn’t have. You regret having done or said the thing. Guilt settles in and makes you feel horrible. Shame arrives to finish the job.
I don’t believe we should make ourselves or others feel ashamed or guilty. But I do believe in accountability and taking ownership of our behaviors. I believe in feeling conviction not condemnation.
What’s the difference between feeling guilty and feeling convicted?
I’m so glad you asked. When I first dedicated my life to the Lord, I was a bit confused about this as well. Because the initial actions are the same in both cases. We do or say something wrong. That happens in both situations. But here’s where the paths diverge. In the guilty option, we recognize our mistake and begin to beat ourselves up over it. Shame attaches itself and further stokes the fire of humiliation and regret. We can spiral as we replay what we said or did over and over. We can convince ourselves that even if we apologize, nothing will change. When (or if) we do apologize, we may remain persuaded that this mistake will never go away. It’ll always be a part of us now. We’ve got a mark against us that can never be erased.
In the guilty option, part of the problem may be because we’re relying on ourselves and the other person (or people) to forgive us and let us off the hook. But what if we went to the Lord first and asked for His forgiveness before we spoke to anyone else?
In the conviction model, we still say or do something wrong. We recognize it, not because we begin to beat ourselves up and condemn ourselves. No. In this instance, it is the Holy Spirit as a representative of God who will nudge us. Let me state this clearly: God’s conviction is a call to turn it around and begin anew.
In my life, this is typically how it goes down. I’ll be thinking of saying or doing something. I’ll feel a tug within me steering me in a different direction. I ignore this gentle prompting and go ahead with my initial plan. Chaos on some level ensues. When the dust settles, I look up to the heavens and say, “I know. I know. I should have listened.”
In the early days of my faith journey, I would still feel some guilt and shame. That’s perfectly natural. And that’s the problem.
We’re not called to move in our natural reactions. We’re called to move in spiritual responses.
What does that mean? Well, it’s natural to feel bad if we say or do something wrong. But when we want to make amends, we need to ask the Lord for guidance. It’s taken me a long time, and I haven’t gotten it down 100%, but I’m learning that the Creator of the whole universe might just know a thing or two more about life than me.
So, you messed up. Now what?
In my case, there were usually a bunch of red flags displayed before the mistake was made. I just chose to ignore them. Once in a while, I do get blindsided, but not often. The point is, I made the mistake. Now what, if anything, should I do to make it better or right? Is it even possible?
Here’s where taking it out of our hands and putting it into His makes all the difference. I may have the instinct to apologize right away. And it’s good to want to make amends quickly, to not let things fester and brew in the silences and separations. But sometimes God will call us to not say or do anything immediately. He is the only one who knows the hearts and minds of everyone, so though I may be ready to address the matter, the other party may not be.
You can’t make your attempt to make amends about you.
We made a mistake, and we feel bad. We don’t like feeling that way. We want to stop feeling that way as soon as possible. But what if the other person isn’t ready to receive your apology? You get ahead of God’s timing, expecting a resolution or restoration, and end up hurt or disappointed.
Now, you must be prepared when God does tell you to apologize, there is still no guarantee the other person will accept and forgive. You’ve got to be ok with that. (It’s not easy.) But your response and your effort are in alignment with God. That’s what truly matters. The other person may (or may not) come around. There may (or may not) be a reconciliation. But when you follow His lead, you can hold your head high. Free from guilt and shame. Yes, you don’t deny the mistake. But you’ve asked God to forgive you. You’ve gone to those you may have wronged and asked the same.
Now it’s time to forgive yourself.
This is an area of struggle for me. I like to believe I’m quick to forgive others. But when it comes to forgiving myself, I have a difficult time. It is only by the grace of God that I’m improving in this area. The Lord has shown me that when I hold onto it, I’m not trusting Him and I’m being selfish.
Selfish?
Yes, because the focus is on me. It’s about my mistake. It’s about me. It’s all about me. I become self-absorbed. Typically, we think of being self-absorbed as self-minded, thinking more of yourself than you should. But you can be self-absorbed in a negative way too. You’re obsessed with focusing on all you did or said wrong. What’s the center of your attention in both examples? You are.
But what about those who don’t seem to acknowledge right or wrong and live in a place of my truth and your truth?
If we don’t know someone personally, all we need to do is look at our devices to see people who seem to have abandoned what were once universally agreed upon as basic truths and distinctions between right and wrong, good and evil. In my opinion, this is a reckless way to live. But it doesn’t surprise the Lord. You know I brought receipts. (Any and all Bible verses, unless otherwise indicated, are from biblegateway.com, NIV, emphasis added.)
Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do. For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, (Philippians 3:17-20)
The Bible is indeed a love letter to those who want to know Him. But to those who willfully turn away, it’s a very stern warning. The part which grabbed me was “their glory is their shame.” Wow. That’s heavy. But think about it. How many videos have you seen of people reveling in doing the wrong thing? They’re convinced freedom and liberty means doing whatever you want without fear of consequence. I pray they realize the error of their ways before it’s too late. I honestly don’t want anyone’s destiny to be destruction. How about you?
God warned us there would be people who reject Truth and embrace and excuse all bad behaviors. Yet we’re surprised when we encounter them. But it should always be shocking. May we never get so comfortable with evil being seen as good that we don’t speak out against it. May we never get quiet and ashamed of believing in the Lord. Check this out:
“If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels.” (Mark 8:38)
I remember when I first heard this verse, it stopped me in my tracks. We deny Jesus now, He’ll deny us then. Yes, contemporary culture is making it more difficult to speak out, to proclaim our love for Him. We get censored, shadow banned, shut down, screamed over, taken away. But we can’t stop. Because in that screaming crowd there may be one who can still be reached. Or maybe that one won’t be in the crowd, but they’ll be on the sidelines listening to everything. You never know. But God does.
And what are we so ashamed about anyway? Why do we care what people think? Check this out:
As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him (Jesus) will never be put to shame.” (Romans 10:11)
If you believe what it says, He’s got your back. Stand tall and share His love to this crazy world. And be sure to let conviction fall and change you when you go the wrong way. Check this out:
Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit. When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin. (Psalm 32:1-5)
These verses struck me. We may not realize this, but if we don’t confess our sin, if we don’t bring our mistake to the Lord, that sin festers within us. As it says, “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away..” and “day and night your hand was heavy on me…” Conviction ignored will start to feel like a heavy hand on us. God is merciful, but He demands accountability. He already knows all the mistakes we’ll ever make. The point of confession is to release us and bring us back to wholeness. We can’t get there without Him.
God loves us, but He hates sin in any form. And there is a time when this world will come to an end. His judgement will be rendered on everyone. Check this out:
And when He (Jesus) has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment: (John 16:8, NKJV)
The way I see it, there’s a day coming (and no one knows when) when we will all be judged for everything. Those who willfully stayed in a place of self-absorption and unrepentance, rejecting Him, will be held eternally accountable for that choice. I’m certain there will be judgements against me as well. Yet I know this one thing, if I believe and confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, my end will not be the same as theirs. I pray many will come to see He is the Way the Truth and the Life before it is too late.
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know. Ask His Holy Spirit to guide you and convict you daily, so you may avoid the pitfalls of this world and live your life unashamed.
Look forward to hearing from you.
-Kat
Seeking Significance
As I begin this piece, I realize I may have addressed this area in one way or another in previous posts. I was prompted to write about it once again after experiencing a rather low point the last few days.
The past three years have been difficult for all of us. During this same stretch of time, both my parents passed away, I left a career I loved, and I moved multiple times. It is only within the last month or so that I’m starting to recognize my own face in the mirror. I’ve settled into a place where I’m surrounded by nature and miles away from the hustle and bustle of life.
In short, I’m finally feeling like I don’t have to be in survival mode anymore. So, naturally that’s when my body decides to process all the trauma I’ve been suppressing. It’s delightful!
I began reflecting not only on the last three years but on my entire life. (When I go, I go deep.) My train of thought then segued to the big question:
When I’m gone what will I leave behind?
Legacy. Significance.
I would venture to say most (if not all) of us want to leave something behind which lives on long after we are gone. In my humble opinion, the greatest legacy, the most significant achievement is raising a family. Notice I didn’t just say having kids. I’m talking about sowing everything you have into these little lives God entrusts to you.
I always believed I’d have a family of my own one day, but that hasn’t happened yet. Does that mean my life is insignificant?
It’s a serious question and one I’m sure many of us face at some point. As we dive deeper down into this rabbit hole, the next question might be:
What makes a life significant?
Here’s where I’m going to perhaps stir up some Kat Controversy, but that is nothing new. I believe the miracle of you being here renders you significant. That’s not just a Biblical perspective (though that should be sufficient), it’s also supported by science. Despite our advances in technology and medicine, there will never be another person exactly like you ever again.
Sure, we’ve got cloning and AI (both fascinating and terrifying to me), but even identical twins are not one and the same. You may be saying to yourself, “OK, so I’m one of a kind, but I’ll never do or be anything significant. I’m not famous or wealthy or anything like that. I haven’t got any special skills or something that sets me apart.”
How can you be significant if no one’s watching?
I believe with our social media landscape, we’ve gotten a warped perspective on what is relevant or significant. We’re becoming trained to believe follows, likes, and such are the yardstick to measure our lives by.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Let’s face it, someone’s video can go viral for the most banal, silly or even ridiculous reason. Sure, they had 1 million views, but does that make what they did significant? I would offer significance should be measured more in terms of long-term effect rather than short-term reaction. The viral video may be forgotten three minutes after it’s been viewed, or it might resonate with the viewer for years to come.
It’s what happens later which determines significance.
Some of the most memorable events in my life came in small, seemingly innocuous moments: an unsolicited hug when it was most needed, a word of encouragement for no special reason, a hearty laugh at a funny story I was telling, just sitting with me in silence so I wouldn’t feel alone.
We may not recognize how significant someone or thing is until later on. Might I suggest we begin to change our perspective a bit? If we can agree each human life has significance, can we start to view one another and our interactions through a lens of appreciation?
Am I oversimplifying things?
I’m not saying it’ll be easy, and there certainly are people we encounter whose significance is appreciated only when they’re far, far away. We won’t get along with everyone all the time. And there may be some folks who we just don’t like, or they don’t like us, or whom we can’t stand to be around. That’s real. I’m not denying it.
I guess my point is if we can attempt to value each other, it’s a good place to start. If I look at you as someone significant, and you can look at me the same way, isn’t it possible we’ll treat each other with a little bit more respect and courteousness? It’s not a guarantee, but once again, it’s a place to start.
But what happens if we end up just living an ordinary life? If we never make headlines or do something special, then what? Was our whole life a waste of time?
Absolutely not.
Did you not read the part where you are significant because God created you? You know I brought receipts. (Any and all Bible verses are from biblegateway.com, NIV, emphasis added.)
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:14)
God doesn’t make mistakes.
Your life is already significant. But if you truly desire to leave your mark, start with giving. Give your time, your energy, your resources. Give without expecting anything in return. Give generously. And it doesn’t have to be money. There is blessing in giving, but never give to be blessed.
Though you may never make the news or go viral on TikTok, you never know how your small act of kindness may be significant to someone else. I can think of many times when someone smiled at me, and my whole day turned around.
Start small.
You want to be significant (more than you already are, of course)? You want to leave a legacy? Give. Share. Try.
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know. I’m glad you’re here because you are significant.
Look forward to hearing from you.
-Kat
When Social Contagion Consumes A Nation
Unless my math is incorrect (and it could be because I’m not great with numbers), this is my 60th blog post. Of all the topics I could choose to commemorate this historic occasion, I’ve chosen one which will definitely earn me my Kat Controversy moniker.
What does social contagion mean?
I’m so glad you asked. Before we dive into this, we should try to come to a consensus on its definition. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), it involves:
“the spread of behaviors, attitudes, and affect through crowds and other types of social aggregates from one member to another. Early analyses of social contagion suggested that it resulted from the heightened suggestibility of members and likened the process to the spread of contagious diseases.”1
There are fascinating articles and studies surrounding this subject. I encourage you to do an online search to learn more, if you’re interested. For the purposes of this piece, however, I think we’ve got a baseline explanation and can now proceed.
Up until the last year or so, I’m pretty sure I’d never even heard the expression social contagion. Now it seems embedded in the lexicon. As with many buzzwords or phrases, it has substantive meaning, but over time that meaning becomes degraded as its overuse deflates its significance. Once everything is being called that term, then nothing is that term.
So, what happened over the last couple of years to make this phrase so popular?
Here’s where the controversy kicks into high gear. Social contagion did not start in 2020, but in my humble opinion, that’s when it went to a whole other level. It was SC 2.0 on steroids!
I understand when the Rona first hit, we were all scared. I was working in healthcare in a nursing home facility in the epicenter (NY) of the crisis. I get it! We were blindsided and nothing made sense. But after a couple of months, still daily working in a hot zone, my coworkers and I began to wonder, “What are we doing? What’s really going on here?”
We cannot forget how unstable people became, chastising strangers in public for not following a mandate (not a law, btw). Some felt emboldened to say and do things they would never have done in the past. The collective began to take over and wanted to rule every aspect of everyone’s daily life with an iron fist.
Is that hyperbolic? Think of how many people couldn’t see dying loved ones or even hold funerals to say final goodbyes. Think of how many outdoor spaces were closed. Suddenly fresh air was the enemy? Let us not forget my favorite five-letter word: M A S K S. Even when compelling evidence questioned their efficacy against this particular virus, there were (and are still) those who remain devoted disciples to the cause. Anyone who does not agree with their belief is a heretic and should be shunned immediately.
Let me state this clearly. What you choose to do with yourself is your own business. If you feel better wearing a face cover, have it. Where it became problematic was when people felt it was within their rights to tell someone else what to do.
I remember scrolling through social media seeing viral videos of people almost (or actually) coming to physical blows, or engaging in heated screaming matches, at the very least. Live and let live and mind your own business were not popular mottos any longer. I blame the media for stoking the fires. I blame the bureaucrats and other experts for instigating and perpetuating the near manic level behavior.
Ok, but that’s just one example, right? Sadly, no. Next came what I shall refer to as the jabby jab. Once again, if you made an informed, free will decision to get it, that’s one thing. But far too many individuals were pressured, harassed, and threatened into injecting an experimental drug into their bodies.
Folks were told they’d lose their livelihoods if they did not comply. Read that sentence one more time. Once again, the mania spread like wildfire, thanks to the media and experts constantly poking at the raw, emotional nerve and fear. It felt as if almost overnight a mass form of groupthink hypnotized many.
Now, we’re halfway through 2023, and the remnants of the Rona and the jabby jab still linger. We’ve learned much as time has proven many conspiracy theories to be far from it. Yet there are some who seem, for lack of a better phrase, stuck in the past. Again, if you have all the information and choose your way, I can respect that.
My concern is that as the social contagion takes hold, you avoid or block out anything which doesn’t align with your belief. Unfortunately, one could argue the media and the experts are complicit in creating these echo chambers. They censor and suppress viewpoints which do not adhere to the agreed upon narrative, their truth.
But there aren’t any examples of social contagion happening right now.
Let me state upfront, I have no issue with adults making decisions regarding their bodies and their sexuality (unless their proclivities are toward children, which is and ever shall be categorically wrong). Advocating that young kids must be affirmed on every thought or idea they have concerning their bodies or sexuality, however, seems positively irrational. Aren’t you as the parent, guardian, adult influence supposed to guide them not blatantly acquiesce? I’m not suggesting we ignore or dismiss them. But when it comes to life and body altering decisions, where is the pause button?
Once again, it seems as if overnight the experts and media were given their marching orders. If you don’t go along with what they not only recommend but demand, you are the problem. It used to be you’d be “killing grandma”. Now it’s “your kid will kill themselves” if you don’t fill them with hormones and/or go through drastic surgical procedures.
We used to agree there was an invisible line no one should cross and if they did, the punishment should be swift and sure. That line was kids. Yes, unfortunately children did suffer, despite our unspoken cultural contract. Evil exists. But when that evil was discovered, there was collective outrage. We were angered and sickened by it, as we should be.
But today to even raise the question of, “Are we moving too fast in this area? Shouldn’t we slow down or just stop?” is seen as hate speech or something. It’s conform or else all over again. As terrible as the previous bouts with social contagion were that I mentioned earlier, this one is the most pernicious and dark. Because it has our youth in the crossfire.
Where is the secret meeting when it’s decided what the next thing will be?
Wherever it’s being held, my invitation must keep getting lost in the mail. Doesn’t it seem odd to you how quickly things change and how powerful elite forces attempt to normalize what was universally considered inappropriate only a few years ago?
The new thing seems to spread so rapidly, not unlike a contagious disease. The thing about some diseases is you can be exposed to them and not even know it. You can carry it and show no symptoms. And some are just lethal enough to destroy you.
I realize for my 60th post, it would have been simpler (and, perhaps more expected) to choose a light-hearted topic. But as I’ve mentioned before, I pray about what content to create. This issue of social contagion and its devastating consequences lies heavy on my heart. I felt led to share it with you in the hopes we can begin to recognize and redirect.
I’ll leave you with these words, not of my own, but from the One who created everything, the only hope for our troubled times.
(Any and all Bible verses, unless otherwise indicated, are from biblegateway.com, NIV, emphasis added.)
Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter. (Isaiah 5:20)
“See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. (Matthew 18:10)
There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death. (Proverbs 14:12, NKJV)
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know. May God have mercy on us all.
Look forward to hearing from you.
-Kat
Wait! It’s Just Click Bait.
We’ve probably all been there. Minding our own business, innocently scrolling through social media or emails, then something catches our eye. It might be a curious headline or graphic. Could be a pic of a celebrity we like with a catchy tagline starting with “Did you know…” or something equally intriguing.
Before we know it, we’ve clicked and are now diving headfirst into a mindless waste of time and energy.
That intriguing headline claiming to have the ultimate answer to weight loss or eliminating wrinkles or even world hunger was the shiny lure on the fishing hook. After wading through pages and pages of content or sitting through an intolerably long and exceptionally uninformative video, you’re left with…nothing. Let me correct myself. You may have the option to purchase a series of materials or join a program that will definitely give you the answers or results promised by the initial lure. You metaphorically wriggle yourself off the line before getting completely reeled in, but you now wear an invisible scar from your time spent on the proverbial hook. You swear you’ll never fall for that trap again.
But sometimes the lure is just so irresistible, you have to go in for a closer look.
This time will be different. This time I’ll learn who my favorite actor’s secret child is. (Spoiler alert: this actually happened, and I did not. Turns out they just used his face as the poster child to get suckers like me to “click here to learn more.”)
Click bait is just a contemporary version of “bait and switch.” An example of this brand of scam would be if a business advertises refrigerators for an incredibly low price for a limited time. But when you get to the store, they have none of that kind left and do their best to upsell you a pricier model.
What happens when you are lured in with false promises in real life?
I’m not simply referring to a salesperson trying to get you to overspend on an appliance or vehicle. I don’t just mean dating apps and other social media platforms where people can perpetuate a version of themselves which may not resemble who they actually are. I’m also talking about when someone we care about: a family member or friend, a trusted mentor or colleague fools us, lures us in with false hope or expectations, damaging our trust.
And what about perhaps the area of greatest significance, and the focus of this article, the most intimate and only eternal relationship you will ever experience?
Have you ever felt faith and relationship with God was just the greatest click bait scam of all time?
I understand.
What I will say to you is you weren’t presented with true faith and relationship with God. Let me take a guess at how it was sold to you. “God is love. Just believe and everything will be all right. Just say this prayer with me and everything will change.” You were drawn to this shiny lure, this promise of a better life. Before you knew it, you were flopping on the boat with a hook in your mouth (metaphorically, of course).
I said the prayer, and everything got worse! They lied to me. I was better off before all of this. I can’t believe so-and-so treated me that way in church. They told me I’d be welcome there. It’s all a scam. God isn’t real. And if he is, he sure doesn’t care about me!
The Bible isn’t click bait. It’s a lifeline.
Unfortunately, there are people and even organizations that use God as a means to an end. They say all the right things to get you, but don’t have his heart to keep you.
God knows how imperfect we are and how we will disappoint one another. I believe it’s one of the reasons he gave us his Living Word so we could read, study, and learn. It also gives us a place of accountability, a standard to be upheld.
Now let me share with you a real, yet very not shiny or pretty truth:
The day you accept Jesus is the last comfortable day of your life.
Can’t take credit for that. The late Prophet Kim Clement spoke those words quite a few years ago. I remember it being a very sobering moment for me when I heard them. He knew we deserved to know the truth. And the truth is when you say “Yes” to the Lord everything does change, just not necessarily the way you think it will.
You may go through a honeymoon period where everything seems to be going your way. You’re living in a kind of protected bubble or cocoon. That period may be short lived, or it may not happen at all. I can’t tell you if it will or won’t. What I can say with absolute certainty is your life will become uncomfortable.
God is love and He will never leave you or forsake you. Salvation is his free gift. Yet living out your faith in this life requires you working with him. Depending on what he brought you out of, you may need to change a little or a great deal. But if he loves me as I am, why should I have to change anything? You are loved and accepted as you are. But he sees all you could be, the best version of yourself, your fullest potential realized. He desires to help you see it too and, with the help of his Holy Spirit, make it a reality.
Don’t let temporary discomfort deter you.
Growth is uncomfortable. Change can be uncomfortable. Those are simply basic facts of life independent from any spiritual context.
You may have times where things are going smoothly, seasons of blessing and prosperity. But my best advice is to never get too comfortable. I’m not suggesting you don’t enjoy these times. I’m saying it’s important to realize everything but God is temporary. Life changes.
I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him (Jesus Christ) who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:12-13)
I would love to say I’m right there with the Apostle Paul, but then I’d be a liar who lies. After many years, I’m learning to ride the waves without getting quite as seasick. (Sidebar: What is with me and all the ocean and fishing metaphors today? But I digress.)
There are plenty of scams in this world. Some even present themselves as faith or belief in the Lord. But just because it looks shiny and pretty, doesn’t mean it isn’t attached to something that can harm you. The best way to help safeguard against spiritual click bait is to read your Bible and pray for his wisdom and understanding. (And as a bonus, he might just give you the strength not to click to learn more about your favorite actress’s secret obsession. It’ll be up to you to choose whether you listen to him or not. Free will.)
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know. And get used to being uncomfortable.
Look forward to hearing from you.
-Kat
Service With A Smile: Legend Or History?
Editor’s note: Let me state up front I have great respect for those in customer service. I learned at an early age I wasn’t cut out for such work. I don’t have the grace and patience. This article is in no way meant to disparage those who put forth a solid effort and care. I also know there are some horrific customers with unrealistic expectations and demands. I considered all of this as I drafted this blog post.
This is the tale of two different customer service worlds.
In the first one, you call the 1-800 number because you’ve exhausted all your brain cells trying to fix the problem or error yourself. After bypassing the automated call center (no easy task), you are warmly greeted by a gentle voice who introduces themselves, verifies you are who you claim to be and says, “How may I help you today?” You begin to tell your sad story, your body still tense from the stress of the equipment malfunction or billing question, your head nursing a persistent throbbing pain above your right eye. The representative listens attentively and waits for you to finish before asking a series of questions which surprisingly relate to your exact problem. You consider your answers thoughtfully while a tiny flicker of hope begins to grow inside you. Before long you and your rep are troubleshooting together and working as a team to solve the issue. Hope is now ablaze in your heart. You can feel the tension in your body begin to dissipate. You even have the strength to find a little humor in the situation. You both share a laugh. You leave the call, hopefully, with a resolution you are comfortable with, but even if you aren’t, you still appreciate the efforts of this brave rep. You thank them and wish them well.
I want to live in that world. Don’t you?
But sadly, there is another customer service realm. This dark, desolate land is littered with the corpses of broken dreams and shattered expectations. You don’t know you’ve entered this world until it is too late and there’s no way to turn back. This place lulls you into a false sense of security as you dial the number, bypass the automated call center, and are greeted by a representative. This rep may even exchange benign pleasantries and appear to be ready to help you.
Don’t be fooled. You are not in the first world.
As you muster the courage to tell your tale of woe, you can sense a distracted attitude, but you continue. Nearly breathless from the telling, you anxiously await their reply. Surely, they’ll give you some direction, offer some solution that doesn’t involve you doing all the legwork and bearing all the burden. Of course, it will all be covered as your product was purchased mere weeks earlier and still falls under the warranty. Assuredly, they’ll agree those overage charges can be removed as you’ve been a loyal customer for decades. As they speak you feel your mind scrambling to understand. But they said they understood and apologized for the inconvenience. Why is their option to fix the problem I didn’t cause more work and more inconvenience for me?! What is going on? Perhaps this is their first day. Maybe they haven’t encountered a problem like mine. You feel your blood pressure rising, but you try to maintain composure. Maybe they don’t realize how this option is utterly ridiculous. If I say it back to them, and they hear how crazy it sounds out loud, they’ll make it right. So, you say it back to them.
To your surprise, they don’t agree it’s a fool’s errand and there must be a better solution. In fact, they fall back to the script and repeat their horrendous option while feigning sympathy for your plight. Your blood pressure near tilting range, you raise your voice and restate your objections fighting every impulse to slip into excessive expletive use. But you don’t want to be unkind to them. On some level you feel for them. Though you are far from a difficult customer, you’re sure they have more than their fair share of abuse to deal with on a regular basis. You don’t want to add to the negativity.
Your words pour out in a mix of frustration and restrained anger. You finish and there’s no response. Then a minute or so later, the rep is back on the line. Did they just mute me? I’ve done business with them for ten years, and this is the thanks I get? Where is the consideration? Where is the support?
Now you’re faced with a difficult choice: escalate with the rep (which will get you absolutely nowhere) or ask to speak with a manager (which will probably also get you absolutely nowhere). You resign yourself to your fate. You drop your metaphorical sword and cave to the hellacious and erroneously named option. You hang up the phone feeling rejected, disappointed and in desperate need of a nap. You’d like to think you gained some wisdom from the encounter, but you didn’t. On the contrary, at one point you could actually feel your brain getting number and dumber.
In today’s world, is good quality customer service no longer possible?
As I stated in my Editor’s Note, I respect those in the field. It can’t be easy spending your entire shift hearing complaints and dealing with unhappy people. I would imagine the salary is far from commensurate with the daily dose of aggravation.
Though I wasn’t a customer service rep, several of my careers involved managing client issues, even in healthcare. There were many times I was working diligently to help one of my patients in their recovery. But that didn’t stop an unsatisfied family member from accosting me with a litany of complaints. Most of the time, I understood. Their concerns were typically out of my purview, but I was the one who answered the phone or was the therapist. I was the first warm body who’d given them the time of day in a long while. They weren’t letting me get away that easily, so I did my best to listen and respond respectfully.
Did I miss the mark many times? Absolutely. Did I take their tone as an attack against me personally? Sure did sometimes. Did I often opine that I wasn’t getting paid enough to deal with all the drama? You betcha.
I’m not immune to acknowledging the fact that the conversation (on phone or in person) is two-way. Having said that, both parties should make their best effort to keep the dialog civil, but I believe the onus is more on the rep than the customer to set and maintain the tone. Placing the call on mute or hold may be an option. Just make sure the customer doesn’t figure out what you’re doing. Nobody wants to be ignored or dismissed, least of all when they’re already feeling ignored and dismissed.
Sometimes it feels as if no one wants to go the extra mile or even the regular mile.
I hate when I start to wax on about “the good old days” because: it makes me sound old, and they probably weren’t as good as my nostalgic memories portray them. But I will say I’ve noticed a trend for some time of people just not making the effort anymore. And I don’t mean going above and beyond the job, I mean literally doing the basic requirements of the job!
For some, they have a pervasive sense of entitlement. They genuinely believe because they showed up, they’ve earned the day’s pay. This is incorrect.
You know I brought receipts. (Any and all Bible verses, unless otherwise indicated, are from biblegateway.com, NIV, emphasis added.)
Now to the one who works, wages are not credited as a gift but as an obligation. (Romans 4:4)
For Scripture says, “Do not muzzle an ox while it is treading out the grain,” and “The worker deserves his wages.” (1 Timothy 5:18)
The crucial element to keep in mind with these verses is it is the worker who deserves and should expect their wages. It is not the person who shows up to work. Walking through the door counts toward attendance not performance.
I understand feeling why should you bother when others come in and don’t work nearly as hard and are getting paid the same (or better) than you. It’s incredibly demotivating. The temptation is great to just coast along and do the barest of bare minimums. I have certainly given in to that impulse at times. I just couldn’t sustain that level of inactivity. I’d get bored and the day would drag on if I didn’t keep moving. Despite my best attempts, I’d eventually revert to my normal pace.
I was raised to work. I believe there’s dignity in working. I’m not suggesting you make your job the cornerstone of your life or identity. But a sense of accomplishment at the end of each day does help build you up. Sure, some days you’re just thankful you survived in one piece, but still.
My parents demonstrated a strong work ethic, whether in the home (Mom) or at the office (Dad). As a writer it is more difficult to keep a structured, disciplined work schedule than when I was in the business or healthcare fields. But I’m trying.
There is also value and purpose in serving others, but don’t take my word for it. Check this out:
Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.” (Mark 9:35)
I believe this verse speaks to the concept of servant leadership. The principle is if you expect to lead, you must be willing to humble yourself and serve others. I would argue it includes the concept of not asking someone who works for you to do something you aren’t willing and prepared to do. Now, if you don’t possess the skillset to perform a function, that’s a different story. I offer it refers to menial tasks. Don’t ever consider yourself above them or they’re beneath you.
As a Christian, Jesus is the example, the role model for how to conduct ourselves in all areas of life. Jesus was a servant. Check this out:
“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45)
If the Son of God could humble Himself and serve others, how much more should that be our posture?
Is service with a smile a legend or history?
A legend implies it’s somewhat rooted in historical facts but has been embellished over time. History suggests it happened in the past. It’s not occurring now. I believe there are a few shining lights out there who still care. I’ve met some of them. They’re wonderful. On a daily basis, they make the world a little less awful for those they help. They even inspire me to not give in to my more cynical nature of feeling anxious over every interaction with a twist in my belly and a sense of foreboding and dread in my heart.
So, I end by saying service with a smile is neither a legend nor history. But I caution we are at a crossroads. If we’re not careful, there is a real risk of snuffing out the spark that still resides in some representatives. May all of us, regardless of which side of the dialog we’re on, conduct ourselves with respect, humility, and kindness. And perhaps one day we can share the legend of the dark world of customer service with those who never had to trudge through its muck and mire.
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.
Look forward to hearing from you.
-Kat
Happiness And Joy: One And The Same?
Let me begin by sharing what prompted my selection of topic this week. It all started with watching a short video. A young gentleman performed a skit where his friend (also played by him) came in and was complaining how bad things are and how everyone just wants to be happy. He countered by stating this quest for happiness was the problem. He then broke down how happiness and joy are not the same. It got me wondering.
Why do we pursue happiness yet find joy?
When I think of pursuing something, I think of an elaborate chase scene in a movie (of course I do). It’s like a fugitive on the run and I’m in hot pursuit. It may be slick and put on various disguises to avoid detection. It may try to blend into a crowd, so I can’t locate it. It’s elusive. In short, I’m working very hard and it’s basically leading or calling all the shots. I’m not really in control, am I? Sure, I’m tracking it and trying to predict its next move, but ultimately, the best I can hope for is that it makes a mistake I can use to my advantage. Bottom line: it sounds like a lot of effort on my part with no guaranteed upside. I may never catch it in the end.
Let’s contrast that with finding something. Is there any greater feeling than when we find something we lost? My body relaxes, my mind stops racing, I can breathe again. The panic subsides. The frantic searching, the retracing steps, the looking through the same drawer ten times is now over. I can dry my eyes (because I’ve usually had a complete, hysterical meltdown) and carry on. And whatever value I once placed upon the lost item has now multiplied exponentially.
Happiness is often circumstantial which means it can be fleeting.
Some may argue you can create your own happiness. You don’t need anyone or anything else. Can you though? Are you able to just wake up and determine to be happy? You can certainly try, I suppose. I’ve aspired to such a feat, and even attempted it a time or two. I did fantastic until I got out of bed and my feet hit the floor.
Happiness is a feeling.
Perhaps that’s its biggest shortcoming. Emotions are a tricky business. How we feel about anything can be subject to change depending on events, people, hormones (ladies, you know what I’m talking about). Happiness, like any emotion, can be transient and difficult to hold onto or maintain.
Isn’t joy a feeling too?
I don’t believe it is. It’s often used interchangeably with happiness, but that doesn’t necessarily make it true. I believe joy is something deeper and greater than feeling happy. I also believe there’s a joy once found which can never be taken away.
I wanted your input for this piece, so I reached out on social media and posed the question: do the two words mean the same thing? I was so grateful for those who took time to respond. I read through each comment, and it was fascinating. Some folks felt the two were related. Others didn’t. Some tied faith into their definitions.
As a Christian, my faith infuses every aspect of my life. I try to adhere to what I learn from studying the scriptures. Some may call it a crutch. My respectful reply would be if you knew the best chef in the world put out a cookbook, wouldn’t you follow the recipes? Sure, your dish may not come out exactly the same as theirs, but you’ve got a much better chance of success than if you tried to guess all the ingredients, measurements, prep and cooking times on your own. Just saying.
You know I brought recipes…I mean receipts. (Any and all Bible verses, unless otherwise indicated are from biblegateway.com, NIV, emphasis added.)
You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. (Psalm 16:11)
This verse describes where joy is found: in God’s presence. What does that mean? I’m so glad you asked. Many think you must be in church or some other formal religious environment to encounter His presence. I respectfully disagree. God’s presence can be anywhere, because He’s God and omnipresent. The real question is how do we tap into it? It’s not hard at all. I’ve been in His presence in my bedroom, on a nature walk, in a friend’s living room, in my car, and even in a church. The physical location is basically irrelevant. God meets us wherever we are. What I love about joy is I wasn’t looking for it when I found it in Him. I just wanted to get to know the God who created me and His Son who died for me. Joy just showed up as I spent time with Him.
I found joy when I wasn’t even looking for it.
From personal experience, I will tell you there is nothing greater than the joy felt in His presence. I don’t know if there are words to describe it. It’s beyond any emotional or physical high. It’s more than feeling happy. It’s a state of perfect peace, tranquility, gratitude, pure love. It’s amazing. I highly recommend you try it.
Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10)
Can joy be strength? According to this verse, it absolutely can. How can that be? I’m so very glad you always ask such excellent questions. Here’s what I know from my own life. When you know whose you are, you can handle more than you thought you ever could. It’s difficult to articulate, but it just reframes your whole view on everything. When you know God loves you and Jesus sacrificed Himself for you, and you truly believe it, you walk differently. You’re so grateful and want to show your appreciation. You want to spend time in His presence which then fills you with joy. That infilling gives you a boldness, a strength, a security. It doesn’t mean you won’t face challenges or difficulties though. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Check this out:
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. (James 1:2-3)
Say what now?
I’m supposed to call it all joy when I’ve lost my job and my bills are past due? Yes. But surely it can’t be joy when my child is rebelling, or my marriage is struggling? That too.
I know how crazy it sounds. The first time I read this verse I didn’t know what to make of it. Surely, there must have been a typo, or somebody took the dictation down incorrectly. Nope. Now if I’m being honest, I can safely say sometimes I wish the faith testing part was over. Can I just get my diploma and graduate? Haven’t I learned enough lessons? Nope.
As I stated earlier, it’s about reframing everything through the lens of knowing the Lord loves you and made you on purpose for a purpose. He allows certain situations to occur, some painful and some downright awful, because He sees beyond that moment. He’s all-seeing and all-knowing. It doesn’t make the event hurt less, but it gives us a place to go, a place to cry out, and a place for our faith to increase. The beautiful part is as our faith grows certain trials don’t hit the same way anymore. Once I learned how God provides for my health and finances (which is a whole topic for a piece someday soon), I developed a confidence in those areas. Doesn’t mean I still don’t get a little nervous when I don’t know how He’s going to come through. But now I know He will come through. There’s great comfort and strength in that knowledge.
Right now, you may be thinking this whole joy thing is pretty interesting, how do I find it? Well, we’ve already seen it comes from God and being in His presence. But did you know it’s also a product of the Holy Spirit? Check this out:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23)
Can I just state I’d be eating that fruit all day every day, and I don’t really like fruit! It gives me some gastrointestinal issues. But I digress. I included this verse because I wanted you to see how much we all need the Holy Spirit. We can love Jesus and fear God, but the Holy Spirit is His very essence. I’ve said before it’s our superpower. When we say Christ lives on the inside of us, it’s His Spirit we’re talking about. When we ask Him into our hearts and lives, (because He’s a gentleman and would never force Himself on us) it’s an absolute game changer. Again, I speak from personal experience. I loved God and believed in Jesus, but when I was filled with the Holy Spirit, it went beyond next level.
He gives you insight, wisdom, discernment. He’s better than a conscience. And did you see the fruit you get to enjoy?! I mean, come on, who’s not in for some: love, joy, peace, forbearance (patience), goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? Sign me up!
Does this mean I’m frolicking all day with those fruits just spilling out of me? Absolutely not. Are there still many areas I’m weak in and need more of His help? Certainly. What it means is all these attributes, these wonderful characteristics are available to us. It will always be our decision whether we partake or not. Free will never goes away. We always have a choice.
As I close, here’s what I see is the biggest difference between happiness and joy. Happiness can come and go. Joy once given to you by God is always yours to access. Circumstances may change, people may hurt or disappoint you, but you will always have what is sometimes referred to as joy unspeakable. It’s a joy no one can ever really take away. It’s an inner spark, if you will, an eternal flame. It can’t be put out by human hands because it wasn’t put there by them. And when you feel your light starting to dim, you just have to enter His presence once more to stoke the fire He put inside of you. It’s a fire of joy, of strength, of power. And it will definitely make you feel happy. But when the feeling fades, His joy continues to burn inside you carrying you through every good and terrible season.
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know. May you have a Holy Spirit invasion and get your fruits in today!
Look forward to hearing from you.
-Kat
Oh Me! Oh My! What To Do About A.I.
Artificial Intelligence or A.I. is a fairly hot topic lately. And who doesn’t like seeing a video with Arnold Schwarzenegger playing Little Orphan Annie singing “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow” to Joe Rogan as Daddy Warbucks? (And, yes, that is a real thing. Saw it this morning on social media as I was prepping for this piece.)
But I’m old enough to remember movies such as the Terminator and Matrix series, and I, Robot where artificial intelligence turns on humanity with devastating results. Shoot, I grew up with Matthew Broderick and Ally Sheedy’s War Games. (Spoiler alert: never choose Global Thermonuclear War as your game selection.)
There have been great technological advances and achievements in every age. But to suggest that each progressive movement didn’t come with a downside, or some negative consequence is a bit naïve. As we moved into the Industrial Age, for example, people were displaced from their jobs. The same thing was true when automation took over manufacturing production lines.
Every innovation may bring a level of degradation or even devastation.
Does that seem too harsh? Think of factory-based towns where machines replace the workers. Consider artists who always created in certain mediums now competing with computer-generated and 3D printed imagery. What about when photography and motion pictures moved from film to digital? Or how about when music went from records then tapes then CDs and now exists primarily in the digital space?
Some careers just don’t survive the transitions. And some experiences will never be known by the next generation. I give you the following as an example: browsing through a record store, exploring each album cover and appreciating all the artwork, creative choices, lyrics, pictures, etc. Contrast that with downloading a song through an app.
Video killed the radio star.
That’s an early 80s reference I challenge you to research on your own. I lived through it, not only the song it came from but the world-changing time period when MTV was born. I was a teenager and music videos were everything! Sure, in the early days it was the same small catalog of mostly British and European bands I didn’t know very well, and the quality of the production left much to be desired, but it was new, and I was in for all of it.
Within a short period of time, almost every band or artist jumped on the trend. Now you didn’t have to wait for your favorite group or singer to appear on some show. They were in rotation 24 hours a day! Soon you had groundbreaking artists who pushed the boundaries and turned 3-5-minute videos into epic events. (Michael Jackson being one of the most prolific of the time.) It was “must see TV”. And we did. A lot.
These days MTV rarely plays music videos at all. Times changed once again. With the proliferation of cell phones and advent of social media, many users won’t stop to watch anything if it runs more than 90 seconds, let alone 3-5 minutes! It’s all about quick hits, short clips and soundbites. Is that healthy? How are our attention spans being affected? Negative consequences.
Now, let’s get back to A.I. and why I’m more than a little concerned about the direction we’re going down.
Technology is a tool. It’s neither good nor bad.
I used to agree with this sentiment. The same technology in different hands can bring about very diverse outcomes. Someone developing programs and robotics to assist in cancer detection or to help those with critical injuries should be applauded. Someone employing programs and devices to spy on or steal from private citizens should not.
Is there potential bias in A.I.?
It appears that way. (As one example: at the time of this writing a certain high-profile chat bot would supply you with jokes about Jesus if you asked it, but it wouldn’t if you asked about a certain other religious figure. Seems a little suspect to me.)
When the leaders behind A.I. suggest a pause, is it time to panic?
Elon Musk and other prominent voices in the space have suggested pausing the push forward with this technology. This seems a bit troubling, doesn’t it? And it sounds like all the warnings ignored by others in the movies right before the machines become sentient, take over and blow everything to smithereens!
These thought leaders and researchers claim they need time to get their hands around it. What now? So, what I’m hearing is those who pushed the little snowball down the snowy mountain are shocked that it picked up speed and grew larger as it rolled. And now that ball is huge and about to crush the village in the valley below. Good job, everyone!
See the thing about A.I. is it learns as it goes. Let me write that again: it learns as it goes. It has a powerful appetite and is a sponge. Its ability to absorb information and generate content based on any subject within a few seconds or minutes is already astounding and getting faster.
Will you be able to believe your own senses soon?
Well, right now I know Arnold wasn’t Orphan Annie, but what’s coming in a few months or years? Will we all be susceptible to deep fakes where someone using technology with the wrong intent will generate something so realistic that we’re all duped? Suppose that content is enough to create panic or motivate people to do something terrible as a reaction.
Along similar lines, what’s the likelihood of fraud and cyberattacks increasing? I’m a resident expert on absolutely nothing, but my educated guess would be leaning toward more likely rather than less.
What if A.I. decides we’re expendable?
That could never happen, right? After the last three years, I’ve learned to never say never. But I don’t want to leave you guys in a panic. As I’ve mentioned before, you can’t surprise God. Nothing has ever happened, does happen or will happen without His awareness. Because He’s the Alpha and Omega (beginning and the end), He already warned us of times ahead.
You know I brought receipts. (Any and all Bible verses, unless otherwise indicated, are from biblegateway.com, NIV, emphasis added.)
At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, (Matthew 24:10-12)
So, whether it’s A.I. becoming self-aware or other manipulative techniques, the Lord is warning us of a time when people will turn from faith, betray and hate each other. During this same period, false prophets will pop up everywhere to mislead many. (Thank goodness, none of that is happening, am I right? Wink. Wink. Nudge. Nudge.)
How can we avoid being deceived?
One of the many, many things I love about the Bible is God doesn’t just warn us of problems, He presents the solutions. Check this out:
See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ. (Colossians 2:8)
What I read in this verse is if it doesn’t align with the Bible and Christ, run from it. (Think about this: down the road there’s a chance A.I. may become ambitious or bored and decide to create a new Bible. Will it be the best deep fake of all time? Who wants to wait around to find out? My strong suggestion: if you don’t have a Bible now, don’t hesitate! Get one!)
Now this next verse is both a warning and a comfort. Check this out:
In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evildoers and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.
Again, whether A.I. or other force is the catalyst, as a believer we are targeted. But God! If we remain in His word and in our faith in Christ Jesus, we will overcome.
As I close, my best advice is if you don’t have a Bible, get your hands on one asap. Don’t rely on an app alone. If you have one and haven’t read it in a while, dust it off and start reading. I suggest the New Testament first starting with: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
If you don’t know or believe in Jesus, today is a perfect day to get to know Him. He loves you. He died and rose again for you. He’s with you. And He is most definitely not artificial in His intelligence, love or any other aspect. He’s the Son of the Creator of the universe. Invite Him into your life today and ask His Holy Spirit to come upon you, so you can spot the deep fakes in your world from miles away.
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.
Look forward to hearing from you, and I’m not a robot!
-Kat
The Great Divide
United we stand, divided we fall.
I did an online search for the origin of this famous phrase. Some say it dates back to the Greek storyteller Aesop, known for Aesop’s Fables. It gained notoriety during the American Revolution where it was included as part of The Liberty Song by John Dickinson in 1768. We’ve also probably all heard the phrase: “there’s safety in numbers”. And Benjamin Franklin is famously quoted as saying, “We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately.”
Warning: If you found the first paragraph offensive, this is probably not going to be an article you’ll enjoy reading. I suggest you stop here. Continue at your own risk.
Unity isn’t a new topic. I imagine the desire to live peacefully and get along with those around us, whether at work, school, or home, in our communities, towns, states, even the country and the world is shared by most of us.
If that is true, it begs the question:
Why can’t we get along with one another?
Here’s where I may earn my Kat Controversy label, but I firmly believe powerful entities are on a mission to divide and conquer. Divide and conquer? Yes, keep us divided and battling with each other, while they gain more power and control right under our noses Keep us hypervigilant and focused on our differences so we can never find things in common, never understand one another, never unite. Does that sound like a conspiracy theory? What the last few years have clearly demonstrated is sometimes those theories are simply truths proven with time and exposure.
Let me state openly, I don’t want to believe there are some people who want to see this world end, or at the very least, no longer resemble the version we’ve known and enjoyed. I don’t want to believe an elitist minority wants to reinstate medieval feudal and caste systems where those who aren’t in their inner circle are treated as second class.
But just because we don’t want something to be true, doesn’t mean it isn’t actually true.
You know I brought receipts. (Any and all bible verses, unless otherwise indicated, are from biblegateway.com, NIV, emphasis added.)
People use phrases such as: “it’s biblical” or “that’s bible” to justify many things or situations. Some may wrongly apply them. I’ll let you judge for yourself if what I’ve described above wasn’t literally prophesied through the scriptures.
But, dear friends, remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ foretold. They said to you, “In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.” These are the people who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit. (Jude 1:17-19)
So, in the latter days, or when this world is nearing its end (spoiler alert: it does have an end coming at some point which only the Lord knows), there will be those who turn away from the teachings of God and will follow their own selfish desires and divide us.
Well, that certainly isn’t happening, is it? None of us can point to a single issue where there isn’t an individual or group behind it driving a story not the story in order to advance an agenda, right? No media outlets are taking up the charge and reinforcing the approved narrative to keep stoking fires of division, separation, and now, sadly, even reinstating segregation in a new and still awful form.
If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. (Mark 3:25)
Anyone who has ever lived with family or shared a home with other people knows this verse is 100% accurate. I vividly remember living in an apartment at a friend’s house. As our relationship began to fall apart, it became increasingly uncomfortable and impossible to live there. I had to move out. The divided house couldn’t stand.
As a Christian, I sincerely believe the bible is the guidebook for life. I believe it contains the writings of those inspired by God to help us navigate this world. I also believe Jesus came to save us and he is the answer: the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
Yet this verse, in his own words, always gives me pause. Check this out.
“Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.” (Luke 12:51-53)
But Jesus is love? How can this be?
I’ve come to appreciate that not everyone is able to receive the Truth. In other cases, some may just take longer than others to get there. Everyone’s spiritual journey is personal. For me, this verse means there will be those who accept His love and gift of salvation, and there will be others who do not. I hope those who don’t accept Him right away will at some point. Yet I realize some may never choose to do so. Free will is a beautiful, terrible thing.
I believe this verse speaks to the struggle between those who believe and those who do not. For those who have submitted their lives to the Lord, we are called to deny our flesh, our selfish instincts and impulses, in deference to how God would have us live. We believe and have seen how His ways are ultimately better, even though we may not feel that way in a given moment. But for those who reject Him, they are led by the whims of personal desire. Yes, they may be very smart people. But natural ability, talent, brains, whatever, can only take you so far. And sometimes it can take you to places of compromise and regret.
These next verses speak to achieving peace and unity. See if you can recognize the common threads. Check this out:
I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought. (1 Corinthians 1:10)
Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. (1 Peter 3:8)
Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. (Romans 12:16)
What I glean here is three-fold: being like-minded, compassionate, and not prideful. Makes sense if you think about it. And I’m going to leave it there for you to think about.
So, is there hope for common ground in 2023?
I still believe there is if he is the foundation, the rock, the solid ground. Check this out:
For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, (Ephesians 2:14)
Earlier we read how Jesus said he’d bring division, yet here it says he is our peace. Can the two things be true? Yes. What I see in this verse is his love can tear down walls, barriers between people. I’ve seen and personally experienced how his love can soften hearts and change minds. I’ve also seen how his love can anger and frustrate those who aren’t ready or prepared to receive it.
I still believe his love is the solution and not the problem. I’ll leave you with this verse:
How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity! (Psalm 133:1)
Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.
Look forward to hearing from you,
-Kat
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