Nope, not so much.

How about you?

It’s not that I believe all change is bad. I’ve gone through many life changes over my 53 years here on earth. I never kept a tally because I’m not a statistician. But if I did, I think the positive changes would outweigh the negative, and not by a small margin. I’m also fairly certain my story isn’t unique.

So why do most of us fight change?

Change is pretty inevitable after all. Even when things are relatively stable, we are changing. What do I mean? Well, let’s just say that the way my mind and body worked when I was in my 20s is not quite the same way as it works (when it chooses to work) in my 50s. Is it just me?

Our lives are bombarded with varying degrees of change. It can be something relatively insignificant as when a store or restaurant we’ve loved for a long time closes. It can also be something literally life-altering as when you go to work only to find out it’s your last day of employment there.

Sadly, I’ve lived through that a few times over the years. I was in a job I either loved or didn’t, but the decision to no longer work there was made for me not by me. Perhaps I’ve just stumbled on why we fight change. Could it be that our problem isn’t necessarily with the change itself, but rather with its timing? Think about it. You’re working at a job that you absolutely can’t stand. Deep down you want to leave, but you’ve decided it’s not the best time or you’re afraid you won’t get a comparable position with similar salary, benefits and vacation. One day you’re called into a conference room and within a few short sentences, typically delivered by a human resources rep with a shiny binder and your packet in hand, it’s all over. You walk out unemployed. Just like that.

Every time I was let go from a job I was pretty devastated. Even though that very morning I might have been dreading stepping foot through the doorway of the building, nevertheless it was a guaranteed paycheck. Now it was gone. What do I do?

The mind can race when faced with change. Whether we realize it or not, we tend to run on auto-pilot in certain areas of life. We get up, go to work or school, and come home. The next day, we do the same thing. It’s almost automatic. Have you ever gotten to your job but couldn’t remember your commute there? That’s a little scary. You’re grateful you arrived safely, but you couldn’t tell anyone how you did it. It’s second nature. You don’t think about it. But what happens when you don’t have that commute anymore because you lost that job?

My brain almost short circuits when I’m confronted with an unexpected change. I have a tendency to overthink, as I confessed in my recent post Overthink. Overreact. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. My mind goes into a bit of a tailspin. Sometimes it just shuts down. I find myself lying in bed with the covers pulled up to my neck, mindlessly watching something on television. I don’t want to think about this new unknown. I want to escape it at all costs.

But we really can’t escape change, can we?

We can avoid it for awhile, but at some point we need to face it. We need to deal with it. We may even need to sort of embrace it. This is when we start reminding ourselves of how unhappy we were in the situation before the change came. As we shift our focus to remembering only the negative, we may begin to feel a bit stronger and the fear of change may lessen.

We want to feel safe and secure. It’s a core desire within us, whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Some people enjoy adventures and trying new things, but they decide how much risk they’re willing to take. Someone who enjoys rock climbing may not want to water ski because they’re not comfortable on the water. Everyone chooses an acceptable level of risk.

When I graduated from college (the first time), I had no desire to work in Manhattan, even though I knew I could make way more money and have better opportunities for success. The risk was too big for this girl from Long Island. So, I stayed local and built a good, safe life.

I don’t regret my decisions, but sometimes I wonder if I was built more for change how my life would have turned out. It’s interesting that the older I’m getting (and I am getting older), the more risk I’m willing to consider taking. I’m not bear hugging every change that comes my way, but I’m slowly learning to not freak out completely. Don’t get me wrong. I still don’t like change as a general rule. I guess I’m just developing a slightly higher acceptable risk threshold.

What about you? Are you more or less accepting of change than you were when you were younger?

What has truly helped me deal with change is my faith. When I started believing that God cares for and about me, it started reframing my thinking. Certain verses help remind me of His love and caring. Perhaps they’ll help you as well. (All verses were from the NIV version on biblegateway.com.)

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6, emphasis added)

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11, emphasis added)

In case you were wondering if you could believe these verses, check this out:

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8, emphasis added)

God is not human, that He should lie, not a human being, that He should change his mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill? (Numbers 23:19, emphasis added)

I’ll close with this: change is coming to all of us. I’ve got some major changes on my horizon. If I think too much about them, I can start down that familiar path of tailspin and short circuit. But if I shift my focus to God and that He is with me, and if I pray for wisdom to navigate through the changes, I am comforted.

As I stated earlier, when I look back I see how many unexpected changes I thought would crush me served only to promote me and bring me closer to a dream or desire in my heart. God is really good that way. He does have a plan for you. Believe that and ask Him for guidance. Perhaps in time we can both state that we are built for change.

Until next time: stay happy, stay healthy, stay in the know.

Look forward to hearing from you,

-Kat